Self
American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?
In the far-off land of Kalid, President Amir lies on his deathbed. If this revered head-of-state dies, the brutal dictatorship that he has so lovingly cultivated will fall into a dark age of uncertainty and chaos. And so, in this moment of crisis, his loyal staff are left with no alternative but to choose the only logical and sensible course of action—to transfer Amir's brain into a younger, healthier, and most importantly, living body. Enter Doctor Robert Trenton, a mad scientist of the traditional 'they all laughed at me and now I'll show them' school. He, along with his assistant, Dorro, a little man with a big appetite for evil, and Tracy, a conniving beauty with a heart that's harder than her leathery, over-tanned skin, concoct a deliriously diabolical plan involving murder, body-napping, skullduggery, and oozy, gooey brains.
Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.
Blast off to the 80s with Rifftrax Live: Space Mutiny! Mike, Bill, and Kevin riffed this cult classic low-budget space opera live in Nashville. Now you can watch the show from the comfort of your own home, or space golf cart, if you have one of those. This is the Big McLargeHugest show you'll ever own. It's a brand new riff, completely different from the original MST3K episode. The show stars with a live riffing of The Magic Shop, a hilariously weird short that's somehow based on a story by H.G. Wells. Also included: pre-show slides and more bonus material! Also also included: Kevin wearing a shiny space muumuu you won't soon forget.
The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.
From the strange and ridiculously colorful world of K. Gordon Murray comes the 1959 Holiday classic Santa Claus. Made in Mexico and dubbed into glorious English, Santa Claus tells the story of, well, Santa Claus, who lives in a big white castle above us in Geosynchronous Orbit and watches over us all in a way that would make the NSA jealous. It’s Christmas Eve, and on Earth poor little Lupita wishes for a doll. Santa hears her wish and prepares for his yearly visit, helped by the heavily medicated Merlin the Wizard and Santa’s unintentionally creepy mechanical reindeer.
For the first time ever, we’ve assembled five shorts about death, loneliness, and dismemberment into one big, old-fashioned yukfest. On their own, they would have been too depressing to put out into the world. But together, they form into a Voltron of hilarity, if Voltron was eventually going to die facedown in the snow, sad and alone.
Deep in the Mexican jungle, a legendary creature lurks in a radioactive swamp. Is it a man? Is it an octopus? No, it’s OCTAMAN! Okay, it’s a man in an octopus suit, but he’s really angry and decides to go on a light killing spree.
Bill and Kevin are joined onstage by the great Paul F. Tompkins, and together they host and riff an amazing set of bizarre short films. The shorts cover every subject under the sun (y’know, because “Day”), from workplace safety to childhood safety to sentient talking pillow safety. And that’s not all - we’ve got more guests, riffing teams and legends galore! John Hodgman, Frank Conniff & Trace Beaulieu, Cole Stratton & Janet Varney, and Bridget Nelson with Sean Thomason, RiffTrax Senior Writer, making his live riffing debut.
It’s the year 2762. The galaxy is plagued with warring factions using hokey special effects to destroy each other. Out of this chaos a hero rises: the dashing, exquisitely bearded Captain Saber Raine (Casper Van Dien). Saber and his elite squad of commandos (other actors) embark on a dangerous quest to save the Prince and Princess of an unnamed planet from the clutches of the Evil Overlord Sinjin - an overlord so evil HIS VERY SKULL IS FILLED WITH CHERRY JELL-O. Can our heroes fend off Sinjin’s army of mutant androids and rescue the Prince and Princess? Probably! After all it’s Space Opera, but you never know! Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for an unforgettable Sword-And-Laser Swashbuckling-ly fun time, beamed to theaters nationwide!
For our fifteenth year of RiffTrax Live, we've selected the 1990's cult classic about bank robbing, presidential masks, and surfing: Point Break! It was directed by Academy Award Winner Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty) and stars Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, John Wick, Keanu), Patrick Swayze (Road House), and one of our all-time favorite character actors, Gary Busey (A Star Is Born, Predator 2). Mike, Kevin, and Bill will riff Point Break LIVE at the State Theatre in Minneapolis on July 27th, and the resulting hilarity will be broadcast to over 700 movie theaters across America on Thursday, August 8th with an encore on Tuesday, August 13th thanks to our partners at Fathom Events.
Starship Troopers is the tale of young trooper Johnny Rico, played by Casper Van Dien, star of this and...well, some direct to video sequels of this, mostly. He’s joined in the war by Denise Richards, impossible to believe as a gifted starship pilot long before she was impossible to believe as a gifted nuclear scientist in that Bond movie. He’s also joined by the great Neil Patrick Harris, who is somehow much easier to believe as an intelligence officer with psychic abilities that help him communicate with the giant bug aliens. Throw in Michael Ironside, because duh, it’s a war movie, you’re gonna need Michael Ironside, and Jake Busey, because duh, he just showed up on set and wouldn’t leave, add a love triangle, heaps of alien splatter, and you’ve got the sprawling, great, goofy mess that is Starship Troopers! Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for this gorilla-gram free version of the blockbuster live show!
A documentary about the making of Danger: Diabolik, the final episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000's original run.
Yes, Thor, for all its critical acclaim, features Thor tazed, injected and hit by a van. The Extended Cut features a scene where he is trampled by a hungry hippo.) No doubt this cartoonish buffoonery is the touch of acclaimed director Kenneth Branagh, whose intention for Thor seems to have been “Let’s bring out the Shakespearean elements of the comic book, but instead of soliloquies, we’ll have grunting, and instead of intrigue, more grunting.” Sadly, Branagh fails to deliver on the demands made by the most hardcore Thor fans, that he bring to the silver screen the short lived 1985 plot line where Loki turns Thor into a frog and he helps other frogs defeat some rats. You get a thoroughly implausible love story and a performance by Sir Anthony Hopkins that were it any more phoned in, would be conducted through two tin cans and a piece of string. Mike, Kevin and Bill needed a nice long Odinsleep after this.
Shorts, Volume 1 is a compilation release featuring seven popular shorts from Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was originally released on VHS by Rhino Entertainment in July 1998; it was later re-released on DVD as part of the Volume 2 set from Rhino and its re-issue, Volume II from Shout! Factory. The featured shorts are: The Home Economics Story (Episode #317), Junior Rodeo Daredevils (Episode #407), Body Care and Grooming Episode #510), Cheating (Episode #515), A Date with Your Family (Episode #602), Why Study Industrial Arts? (Episode #609} and The Chicken of Tomorrow (Episode #702).
Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...
Teens! Bikes! Feathered Hair! Love and revenge! Leotards and acid-washed denim! It’s all here in the legendary Eighties BMX-racing action-drama-romance RAD! Join Mike, Bill and Kevin as they spin, flip and slow-bike-dance their way into your hearts, LIVE in theaters nationwide on August 17th! Don’t miss it, if you want to be RAD!
Made for television in 1978, The Astral Factor features a convicted murder who learns to use the power of his mind to move objects and make himself invisible. he escapes from prison and hunts down the women whom he believes have wronged him. He is pursued by a dogged police lieutenant.
Things get a bit randy in this version of Mary Shelley's immortal classic about... immortality. Just as our resident mad scientist is about to bring his creature back to life, he is forced to use a sub-standard brain. The Cinematic Titanic crew offer more hilarious commentary as they set their sights on a Frankenstein's castle chock full of angry villagers, grave robbers, and skinny dippers.
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
A new member has joined Eli and the Shane Gang! Junjie, once the protector of the Eastern Caverns, is a master of the slugslinging art of Slug Fu! But even with the power of five slingers, the Shane Gang find themselves in over their heads as they race across The 99 Caverns in search of the Legendary Elemental Slugs. The five Elementals are ancient slugs of great power, and the forbearers of all slugs found in SlugTerra today. In the wrong hands, they could bring Slugterra to the brink of destruction. So when an evil alliance starts hunting down the Elementals, Eli and his friends — old and new — take off in pursuit of the greatest threat their world has ever faced!
Static images of an old country house are combined with voices of the past to evocative effect. Haunting and nostalgic, 'Return' conveys the life that exists in old, abandoned places.
Although he hates dogs, Toni is engaged in finding lost animals and then sentimentally blackmails the masters in order to obtain beautiful large amounts of money. Because of an old and ugly Pekinese that Toni cannot succeed of getting rid of, feelings of affection awake in him that surprise even Toni.
UFC 21: Return of the Champions was a mixed martial arts event held by the Ultimate Fighting Championship on July 16, 1999 at the Five Seasons Events Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The event was seen live on pay per view in the United States, and later released on home video.
The Straw Hats visits an island, known as Mecha Island, where a fisherman sings an old folk song about a Golden Crown. Searching for that mysterious treasure, they find a hidden entrance into the island. The island's leader, Ratchet, impressed with the find and in search of the Golden Crown himself, invites the crew to join him in his search and the crew along with Ratchet and his henchmen enter the cave. As it turns out, the islands true form, is that of a giant turtle. Ratchet, who had known this all along, uses his mechanical castle to take control of the turtle, in order to use it, to take over the world. Now the Straw Hats have to stop not only Ratchet, but also the helpless turtle, from crashing into a nearby island.
Two souls lost in a world of modernisation find each other in a moment's need for clarity and appreciation.
World traveler and adventurer Gulliver is invited to return to Lilliput, the town he previously saved from the enemy fleet of the neighboring Blefuscu.
Mobile Suit SD Gundam Mk. II delivers with more tongue-in-cheek humor than the first series. In "The Rolling Colony Affair," a colony is hosting a cabaret show featuring the girls of Gundam. But the show turns disastrous when men and mobile suits go crazy over the girls, sending the colony rolling out of control. A parody of the videogame RPG genre, "Gundam Legend" has Amuro, Kamille and Judau sent on a perilous quest to rescue the princess of the Zeta Kingdom from Char Aznable and his vicious Zeon MS forces.
Rowe McDonald is a headstrong missionary who has life after his mission all figured out. When a fatal car crash interrupts his plans, he is given sixty days to return to life and finish his work. Now he must choose whether to lead the life he planned, or reach beyond himself to change the lives of others. What will he do? Who will he touch? How will he prepare to leave it all behind?
Return is a methodical construction of the approach of an individual towards an unseen goal, which assumes metaphorical significance. Viola moves toward the camera/viewer, pausing every few steps to ring a bell, at which point he is momentarily thrust back to his starting place, and then advanced again. Finally reaching his destination, he is taken through all of the previous stages in a single instant and returned to the source of his journey.
As the Overfiend slumbers, the mad emperor Caesar rises to power, enslaving a new race of demon beasts. Into this cruel existence is born the Lord of Chaos, the Overfiend's nemesis. As the blood-thirsty beasts capture the tyrant's daughter in a brutal coup, the Overfiend must awaken to an apocalyptic battle of the Gods.
Owen, a young man is dissatisfied with his life. He heads into the forest to escape and learns a lot during his time there.
Attorneys Kensuke Komikado and Machiko Mayuzumi receive a request from a general hospital. They go up against veteran attorney Kazuma Kujou who is trying to extract money from the general hospital by a medical malpractice lawsuit.
While Sidney Prescott and her friends visit the Hollywood set of Stab 3, the third film based on the Woodsboro murders, another Ghostface killer rises to terrorize them.
A girl is at school. Suddenly it's as if she can't breathe. As she runs down the stairs we follow her into her mind. It takes us deep into dark woods.
Seven years ago, Zaid went to war against the Copenhagen underworld to avenge his dead brother. His identity as a respected doctor of cardiology and life as a family man is but a fading dream, and in prison Zaid suffers the loss of his son Noah, whom he barely knows. When a police agent approaches Zaid and offers him a deal to be released in exchange for infiltrating the Copenhagen underworld, he sees his chance to reclaim the remnants of the family life he left behind. But everything has a price, and Zaid realizes that he has now seriously endangered his son's life. After all, once you become part of the underworld, is there any way out?
When Koryu's childhood friend Shurei is abducted by gangsters, the desperate young woman recruits a female martial artist and a tough-as-nails stranger to join her for a dangerous rescue mission.
A single man has worked most of his life in a supermarket. One night, he unexpectedly meets with his father, and the two are faced with the question of the reasons for their separation.
After the Combiner Wars ended, Cybertron started to be rebuilt. However, an undead Starscream has been reincarnated as Trypticon, wreaking havoc around him. To combat this menace, Windblade gathers up a ragtag team of Transformers, including Optimus Prime and Megatron, to resurrect an ancient ally. And while some may be forever changed by the events, others may not emerge with their sparks intact.