
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
2008-11-20
8
6.1The holidays get overly festive as Olaf "Gunn" Gunnunderson, an out-and-proud gay college student, crawls back into the closet to survive the holidays with his parents. But when his boyfriend, Nathan, shows up at their doorstep unannounced, Gunn must put on a charade to keep the relationship a secret. With pressure mounting from all sides, will Gunn come out before the truth does?
6.4Things seem pretty bad for a young girl living a "hard-knock life" in an orphanage. Fed up with the dastardly Miss Hannigan, Annie escapes the run-down orphanage determined to find her mom and dad. It's an adventure that takes her from the cold, mean streets of New York to the warm, comforting arms of bighearted billionaire Oliver Warbucks - with plenty of mischief and music in between.
0.0Two brothers celebrate the holidays together out of obligation. But when Drew pisses off Stu by dressing up like Santa Claus, they break out into a spiteful argument that questions the very concept of family.
10.0Monty Python's Personal Best is a miniseries of six one-hour specials, each showcasing the contributions of a particular Monty Python member. The five surviving Pythons pay homage to the late, great Graham Chapman in this retrospective of his best work with the legendary comedy troupe.
7.8Although they are virtual strangers, a man and a woman consider entering into a fake marriage to achieve their individual aspirations.
5.6Holly Grant has learned a long time ago not to rely on Santa Claus leaving Mr. Right in her Christmas stocking. But Holly is in for a surprise when a handsome man arrives on her doorstep with a twinkle in his eye and Yuletide tree in tow.
7.0A TV movie special that compiles of a few Looney Tunes episodes centered around an episode of a Christmas Carol, with the part of Scrooge played by Yosemite Sam.
7.0Santa has an accident at Fred's house on Christmas Eve, Fred and Barney have to continue his run for him.
7.2Chiaki is an aspiring conductor who faces the challenge of leading an orchestra which is made up of substitutes. Nodame gives her support to her beloved as she works hard towards achieving her dream to pass a promotion exam at their music conservatory. Will Chiaki be able to revive a broken down orchestra and launch his musical career? What will become of Nodame and Chiaki's relationship?
6.5Tis the season for the cheer and charm of the Peanuts kids - and this delight special offers five segments full of unforgettable moments. Snoopy works as a bell-ringer to raise money and tries making peace with the ferocious cat next door. Linus strives to strike the right tone in his letter to Santa - and his friendship with an indecisive girl at school. Sally's idea about gift giving and the identity of Santa may be unusual - but her strange notion about how to obtain a Christmas tree surprisingly does the job. Lucy tries awfully hard to be nice...and still coax everyone around her to buy her presents. Charlie Brown and Sally wait up for Santa (a surprisingly short man), who spreads Christmas gift cheer further than they had thought. Make merry!
7.3Awaiting his girlfriend Léna’s arrival at the Breton seaside resort of Dinard, Gaspard befriends—and flirts heavily with—two other women, the companionable ethnology student Margot and the sensual townie Solène, making for a rather complicated situation when Léna finally arrives.
6.9Krishna Murthy, the son of a rich industrialist, falls in love with Padma, the daughter of a greedy miser. To win her heart and teach her father a lesson, Krishna acts like a greedy miser.
7.8A week before Christmas, Kyon wakes up in a world where the SOS Brigade doesn't exist. Mikuru and Yuki don't recognize him, and Haruhi and Itsuki seem to have vanished.
0.0Julia works as a cashier at a piano factory in Stockholm. She and a couple friend go on a ski vacation to northern Sweden, while her boss at the piano factory notices there a money missing in cash register. He suspects Julia who have to prove her innocence.
0.0Wholesaler Ferdinand wants his son to marry his firm partner's daughter, but the problem is they don't want to get married. The son turns to a friend for advice. It turns out that Ferdinand had a daughter from a previous marriage he didn't know nothing about, which leads to further confusion
0.0A local newspaper editor in northern Sweden starts to spread a rumor that sextuplets has been born. In reality it turns out that it's only two sets of twins.
4.7Akin to Private Benjamin, this comedy deals with the tough life of female army recruits going through basic training. Through their training they come to realize that there is more to being tough than having muscles.
7.0Winner of 7 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, The Wiz was a massive Broadway hit which spawned a dismal feature film starring Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. Executive Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have assembled a Tony-winning creative team, the imaginative Cirque du Soleil Theatrical and a diverse cast of showstoppers designed to create an eye-popping new take on the musical unlike anything ever seen.
7.3As the 100th anniversary of Titanic's sinking approaches, a team of scientists, engineers, archaeologists and imaging experts have joined forces to answer one of the most haunting questions surrounding the legendary disaster: Just how did the "unsinkable" ship break apart and plunge into the icy waters of the North Atlantic? Written by History Channel
5.5A young tech worker takes a job at a powerful Internet corporation, quickly rises up the company's ranks, and soon finds herself in a perilous situation concerning privacy, surveillance and freedom. She comes to learn that her decisions and actions will determine the future of humanity.
7.5Woody has always been confident about his place in the world and that his priority is taking care of his kid, whether that's Andy or Bonnie. But when Bonnie adds a reluctant new toy called "Forky" to her room, a road trip adventure alongside old and new friends will show Woody how big the world can be for a toy.
6.4A year after Amber helped Richard secure the crown. The two are set to tie the knot in a royal Christmas wedding — but their plans are jeopardized when Amber finds herself second-guessing whether or not she's cut out to be queen, and Richard is faced with a political crisis that threatens to tarnish not only the holiday season but the future of the kingdom.
7.5While on a business trip in Los Angeles, Edward Lewis, a millionaire entrepreneur who makes a living buying and breaking up companies, picks up a prostitute, Vivian, while asking for directions; after, Edward hires Vivian to stay with him for the weekend to accompany him to a few social events, and the two get closer only to discover there are significant hurdles to overcome as they try to bridge the gap between their very different worlds.
7.3Thirty years after defeating the Galactic Empire, Han Solo and his allies face a new threat from the evil Kylo Ren and his army of Stormtroopers.
5.4The quiet life of Baker Dill, a fishing boat captain who lives on the isolated Plymouth Island, where he spends his days obsessed with capturing an elusive tuna while fighting his personal demons, is interrupted when someone from his past comes to him searching for help.
7.4A twice-divorced mother of three who sees an injustice, takes on the bad guy and wins -- with a little help from her push-up bra. Erin goes to work for an attorney and comes across medical records describing illnesses clustered in one nearby town. She starts investigating and soon exposes a monumental cover-up.
6.4A midlife-crisis burdened Shrek, longing for the days when he felt like a real ogre, makes a pact with magic deal-maker Rumpelstiltskin. But when he's duped and sent to a twisted version of Far Far Away—where Rumpelstiltskin is king, ogres are hunted, and he and Fiona have never met—he sets out to restore his world and reclaim his true love.
8.2Seventeen-year-old Stella spends most of her time in the hospital as a cystic fibrosis patient. Her life is full of routines, boundaries and self-control — all of which get put to the test when she meets Will, an impossibly charming teen who has the same illness. There's an instant flirtation, though restrictions dictate that they must maintain a safe distance between them. As their connection intensifies, so does the temptation to throw the rules out the window and embrace that attraction.
6.7Driving cross-country, Ray and his wife and daughter stop at a highway rest area where his daughter falls and breaks her arm. After a frantic rush to the hospital and a clash with the check-in nurse, Ray is finally able to get her to a doctor. While the wife and daughter go downstairs for an MRI, Ray, exhausted, passes out in a chair in the lobby. Upon waking up, they have no record or knowledge of Ray's family ever being checked in.
7.3An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money.
7.5Supervillains Harley Quinn, Bloodsport, Peacemaker and a collection of nutty cons at Belle Reve prison join the super-secret, super-shady Task Force X as they are dropped off at the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese.
7.4Susan Morrow receives a book manuscript from her ex-husband – a man she left 20 years earlier – asking for her opinion of his writing. As she reads, she is drawn into the fictional life of Tony Hastings, a mathematics professor whose family vacation turns violent.
6.7The magical kingdom of Lucis is home to the world’s last remaining Crystal, and the menacing empire of Niflheim is determined to steal it. King Regis of Lucis commands an elite force of soldiers called the Kingsglaive. Wielding their king’s magic, they fight to protect Lucis. As the overwhelming military might of the empire bears down, King Regis is faced with an impossible ultimatum – to marry his son, Prince Noctis to Princess Lunafreya of Tenebrae, captive of Niflheim, and surrender his lands to Niflheim rule. Although the king concedes, it becomes clear that the empire will stop at nothing to achieve their devious goals, with only the Kingsglaive standing between them and world domination.
6.6As Batman hunts for the escaped Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime attacks the Gordon family to prove a diabolical point mirroring his own fall into madness.
6.7An epic journey into the world of dinosaurs where an Apatosaurus named Arlo makes an unlikely human friend.