The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Himself
Himself
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
2008-11-20
8
As the 100th anniversary of Titanic's sinking approaches, a team of scientists, engineers, archaeologists and imaging experts have joined forces to answer one of the most haunting questions surrounding the legendary disaster: Just how did the "unsinkable" ship break apart and plunge into the icy waters of the North Atlantic? Written by History Channel
Kathleen Madigan drops in on Detroit to deliver material derived from time spent with her Irish Catholic Midwest family, eating random pills out of her mother's purse, touring Afghanistan, and her love of John Denver and the Lunesta butterfly.
Known for his unmistakable cascading strings and recordings such as Charmaine, Mantovani enthralled the world with his sublime arrangements. This is the story of the man and his music.
As the global economy teeters on the brink of disaster, a young Wall Street trader partners with disgraced former Wall Street corporate raider Gordon Gekko on a two tiered mission: To alert the financial community to the coming doom, and to find out who was responsible for the death of the young trader's mentor.
Vickie, short for Victoria, is crowned Queen of England and as such needs to learn the responsibilities of her new post.
Through seven scenes, the film follows the life and destinies of stray dogs from the margins of our society, leading us to reconsider our attitude towards them. Through the seven “wandering” characters that we follow at different ages, from birth to old age, we witness their dignified struggle for survival. At the cemetery, in an abandoned factory, in an asylum, in a landfill, in places full of sorrow, our heroes search for love and togetherness. By combining documentary material, animation and acting interpretation of the thoughts of our heroes, we get to know lives between disappointment and hope, quite similar to ours.
A message from Jim Morrison in a dream prompts cable access TV stars Wayne and Garth to put on a rock concert, "Waynestock," with Aerosmith as headliners. But amid the preparations, Wayne frets that a record producer is putting the moves on his girlfriend, Cassandra, while Garth handles the advances of mega-babe Honey Hornee.
Two young officers are marked for death after confiscating a small cache of money and firearms from the members of a notorious cartel during a routine traffic stop.
A young college student is found stabbed to death,and private detective Vares life takes an interesting turn when the girls family asks him to investigate the case.
In 1857, at the height of his fame and fortune, novelist and social critic Charles Dickens meets and falls in love with teenage stage actress Nelly Ternan. As she becomes the focus of his heart and mind, as well as his muse, painful secrecy is the price both must pay.
Canadian actress and filmmaker Sarah Polley investigates certain secrets related to her mother, interviewing a group of family members and friends whose reliability varies depending of their implication in the events, which are remembered in different ways; so a trail of questions remains to be answered, because memory is always changing and the discovery of truth often depends on who is telling the tale.
Just as Daniel and Kristi welcome a newborn baby into their home, a demonic presence begins terrorizing them, tearing apart their perfect world and turning it into an inescapable nightmare.
Highland Sunset and a final look at Class 37s on the West Highland Line to Fort William before the introduction of Class 66s. Crewe Open Weekend with a tour of Crewe Works during the open weekend of the 20th and 21st of May with a variety of traction plus coverage of specials to the event with 33 and 37 hauage. Class 58 Profile with only half of the original class still in action we take a look at the class from the 1980s to the present day. Devon Contrasts and Class 67 and 47 motive power along the famous stretch of sea wall from Starcross to Dawlish.
A group of Boston-bred gangsters set up shop in balmy Florida during the Prohibition era, facing off against the competition and the Ku Klux Klan.
As the police launch a full-scale crackdown on organized crime, it ignites a national yakuza struggle between the Sanno of the East and Hanabishi of the West. What started as an internal strife in Outrage has now become a nationwide war in Outrage Beyond.
Forks, Washington resident Bella Swan is reeling from the departure of her vampire love, Edward Cullen, and finds comfort in her friendship with Jacob Black, a werewolf. But before she knows it, she's thrust into a centuries-old conflict, and her desire to be with Edward at any cost leads her to take greater and greater risks.
Construction company owner John Matthews learns that his estranged son, Jason, has been arrested for drug trafficking. Facing an unjust prison sentence for a first time offender courtesy of mandatory minimum sentence laws, Jason has nothing to offer for leniency in good conscience. Desperately, John convinces the DEA and the opportunistic DA Joanne Keeghan to let him go undercover to help make arrests big enough to free his son in return. With the unwitting help of an ex-con employee, John enters the narcotics underworld where every move could be his last in an operation that will demand all his resources, wits and courage to survive.
Have you ever read the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policies connected to every website you visit, phone call you make, or app you use? Of course you haven’t. But those agreements allow corporations to do things with your personal information you could never even imagine. This film explores the intent hidden within these ridiculous agreements, and reveals what corporations and governments are legally taking from you and the outrageous consequences that result from clicking “I accept.”
A narcissistic TV weatherman, along with his attractive-but-distant producer, and his mawkish cameraman, is sent to report on Groundhog Day in the small town of Punxsutawney, where he finds himself repeating the same day over and over.
A former bounty hunter turns into an elementary schoolteacher. Determined to have a normal life and keep her bounty hunter past a secret, she reluctantly returns home for Christmas to help save the family business by catching the one bounty that got away. But when her fiancé follows her home for the holiday, she struggles to hide her wild family business and a bounty hunter ex-boyfriend she thought she'd left behind.
Eight-year-old Kevin McCallister makes the most of the situation after his family unwittingly leaves him behind when they go on Christmas vacation. When thieves try to break into his home, he puts up a fight like no other.
Instead of flying to Florida with his folks, Kevin ends up alone in New York, where he gets a hotel room with his dad's credit card—despite problems from a clerk and meddling bellboy. But when Kevin runs into his old nemeses, the Wet Bandits, he's determined to foil their plans to rob a toy store on Christmas Eve.
Eight London couples try to deal with their relationships in different ways. Their tryst with love makes them discover how complicated relationships can be.
A young French teenage girl after moving to a new city falls in love with a boy and is thinking of having sex with him because her girlfriends have already done it.
Given the opportunity to revisit her estranged family on Christmas Eve, 1996, Kristin Cartwright discovers that while its impossible to change the past, its important to learn from it.
Tobi and Achim, the pride of the local crew club, have been the best of friends for years and are convinced that nothing will ever stand in the way of their friendship. They look forward to the upcoming summer camp and the crew competition. Then the gay team from Berlin arrives and Tobi is totally confused. The evening before the races begin, the storm that breaks out is more than meteor-logical.
Crustacés et coquillages is a fresh French comedy film with numerous surprise turnarounds and about the tolerance of a family of four. The family spend an idealistic summer vacation together where each of the family members gets involved in a new or old relationship.
The previously untold origins of Olaf, the innocent and insightful, summer-loving snowman are revealed as we follow Olaf’s first steps as he comes to life and searches for his identity in the snowy mountains outside Arendelle.
It's vacation time for outdoorsy Chicago man Chet Ripley, along with his wife, Connie, and their two kids, Buck and Ben. But a serene weekend of fishing at a Wisconsin lakeside cabin gets crashed by Connie's obnoxious brother-in-law, Roman Craig, his wife, Kate, and the couple's two daughters. As the excursion wears on, the Ripleys find themselves at odds with the stuffy Craig family.
Yumiko returns to work in Hama-chan's department. She had once left the company after getting married, but a dark shadow now seems to loom over her.
When Simon's' dog is taken from him, he stops at nothing to get her back.
With the Christmas season fast approaching, department store window decorator Sloan Van Doren is hoping to take over the recently-vacated head window designer spot but finds she has to prove herself by going up against rival Jake Dooley. As the two compete they find they may have more in common than they think. Stars Chyler Leigh and Naomi Judd.
Shop owner Alice Chapman is nervous to meet her future in-laws at Christmas, especially because she is arriving ahead of her new fiance Will Mitchum. Alice's trip becomes more stressful when her luggage is lost and her phone is damaged, leaving her no way to find Will's family!
Young love and childish fears highlight a year in the life of a turn-of-the-century family up to the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair.
When Billy Peltzer is given a strange but adorable pet named Gizmo for Christmas, he inadvertently breaks the three important rules of caring for a Mogwai, unleashing a horde of mischievous gremlins on a small town.
In this East German teen musical, a group of girls are planning to take their summer vacation together on the Baltic coast. When a loud and obnoxious group of boys intrudes on their holiday, the girls are horrified to learn that the boys have the same vacations plans as them. The two groups quarrel with each other and compete over a number of things, but gradually an attraction starts to form.
The only thing that is working in Cassie's world is her small town business. Her Christmas Cupcakery is a huge success, but her love life is a mess. Cassie's whole universe is turned upside down when she falls in love with a co-worker who is revealed to be the famous and notoriously troubled actor Alex Gray. There's no denying that Alex and Cassie are in love, but can their relationship survive the pressure of Hollywood and the holidays?