
The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.
2009-03-19
4.5
10.0For the first time ever, we’ve assembled five shorts about death, loneliness, and dismemberment into one big, old-fashioned yukfest. On their own, they would have been too depressing to put out into the world. But together, they form into a Voltron of hilarity, if Voltron was eventually going to die facedown in the snow, sad and alone.
9.0In RiffTrax Live: Reefer Madness, Mike, Kevin and Bill deliver their trademark form of rapid fire comedy in front of a live audience! Lines could be flubbed! Tomatoes could be thrown! Mountain lion attacks are entirely possible!
10.0In the futuristic world of 2004, Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t just doing leg splits, he’s splitting the very barriers of space and time. Get ready for TIMECOP! Yes, it’s one word! After the death of his wife (Mia Sara) at the hands of time-traveling goons, Jean-Claude Van Damme is recruited to an elite task force of time-based police officers. Why does the government have an elite task force of time-based police officers? TIMECOP may, or may not, have answers to that perfectly reasonable question! Unfortunately, a U.S. Senator (Ron Silver) has gained access to their system of time travel and he’s using it to commit unspeakable evils – huge campaign finance violations – across generations. Imagine a nightmarish world where stuff like THAT happens. You can’t! Will the Timecops stop the senator in time to save the future?
6.5Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.
0.0Made for television in 1978, The Astral Factor features a convicted murder who learns to use the power of his mind to move objects and make himself invisible. he escapes from prison and hunts down the women whom he believes have wronged him. He is pursued by a dogged police lieutenant.
0.0The Dean family patriarch has died and left a fortune to his children and servants. The occasion soon turns grim when they discover they must all must spend an entire week at the family estate - together. It's all the same old family routine: backbiting, billiards, rumors and innuendo, canings, pantsuits and ham - until one by one, they start turning up dead.
6.2Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.
8.0An atomic bomb test in the South Pacific creates an isolated world of terror. Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how? With sarongs a-plenty, this film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.
5.5The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!
0.0A documentary about the making of Danger: Diabolik, the final episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000's original run.
8.0The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
8.0Cinematic Titanic is the new "show" from the original MST3K cast.
8.0Teens! Bikes! Feathered Hair! Love and revenge! Leotards and acid-washed denim! It’s all here in the legendary Eighties BMX-racing action-drama-romance RAD! Join Mike, Bill and Kevin as they spin, flip and slow-bike-dance their way into your hearts, LIVE in theaters nationwide on August 17th! Don’t miss it, if you want to be RAD!
7.0From the strange and ridiculously colorful world of K. Gordon Murray comes the 1959 Holiday classic Santa Claus. Made in Mexico and dubbed into glorious English, Santa Claus tells the story of, well, Santa Claus, who lives in a big white castle above us in Geosynchronous Orbit and watches over us all in a way that would make the NSA jealous. It’s Christmas Eve, and on Earth poor little Lupita wishes for a doll. Santa hears her wish and prepares for his yearly visit, helped by the heavily medicated Merlin the Wizard and Santa’s unintentionally creepy mechanical reindeer.
6.7American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?
0.0Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...
0.0Mediocrities, Assemble! Super Zeroes is a special packed with the best moments of some of the corniest vintage superhero flicks ever made. Complete with host segments from Mike, Kevin and Bill!
6.4Deep in the Mexican jungle, a legendary creature lurks in a radioactive swamp. Is it a man? Is it an octopus? No, it’s OCTAMAN! Okay, it’s a man in an octopus suit, but he’s really angry and decides to go on a light killing spree.
10.0It’s the year 2762. The galaxy is plagued with warring factions using hokey special effects to destroy each other. Out of this chaos a hero rises: the dashing, exquisitely bearded Captain Saber Raine (Casper Van Dien). Saber and his elite squad of commandos (other actors) embark on a dangerous quest to save the Prince and Princess of an unnamed planet from the clutches of the Evil Overlord Sinjin - an overlord so evil HIS VERY SKULL IS FILLED WITH CHERRY JELL-O. Can our heroes fend off Sinjin’s army of mutant androids and rescue the Prince and Princess? Probably! After all it’s Space Opera, but you never know! Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for an unforgettable Sword-And-Laser Swashbuckling-ly fun time, beamed to theaters nationwide!
8.5Bill and Kevin are joined onstage by the great Paul F. Tompkins, and together they host and riff an amazing set of bizarre short films. The shorts cover every subject under the sun (y’know, because “Day”), from workplace safety to childhood safety to sentient talking pillow safety. And that’s not all - we’ve got more guests, riffing teams and legends galore! John Hodgman, Frank Conniff & Trace Beaulieu, Cole Stratton & Janet Varney, and Bridget Nelson with Sean Thomason, RiffTrax Senior Writer, making his live riffing debut.
5.8During a power outage, two strangers tell scary stories. The more Fred and Fanny commit to their tales, the more the stories come to life in the dark of a Catskills cabin. The horrors of reality manifest when Fred confronts his ultimate fear: Fanny is the better storyteller.
8.0The story of J. Robert Oppenheimer's role in the development of the atomic bomb during World War II.
7.5Supervillains Harley Quinn, Bloodsport, Peacemaker and a collection of nutty cons at Belle Reve prison join the super-secret, super-shady Task Force X as they are dropped off at the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese.
6.9Harley Quinn joins forces with a singer, an assassin and a police detective to help a young girl who had a hit placed on her after she stole a rare diamond from a crime lord.
7.9101-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story of her life aboard the Titanic, 84 years later. A young Rose boards the ship with her mother and fiancé. Meanwhile, Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets aboard the ship. Rose tells the whole story from Titanic's departure through to its death—on its first and last voyage—on April 15, 1912.
7.3Thirteen-year-old Mei is experiencing the awkwardness of being a teenager with a twist – when she gets too excited, she transforms into a giant red panda.
8.4Struggling to find his place in the world while juggling school and family, Brooklyn teenager Miles Morales is unexpectedly bitten by a radioactive spider and develops unfathomable powers just like the one and only Spider-Man. While wrestling with the implications of his new abilities, Miles discovers a super collider created by the madman Wilson "Kingpin" Fisk, causing others from across the Spider-Verse to be inadvertently transported to his dimension.
8.1Joe Gardner is a middle school teacher with a love for jazz music. After a successful audition at the Half Note Club, he suddenly gets into an accident that separates his soul from his body and is transported to the You Seminar, a center in which souls develop and gain passions before being transported to a newborn child. Joe must enlist help from the other souls-in-training, like 22, a soul who has spent eons in the You Seminar, in order to get back to Earth.
7.8Long ago, in the fantasy world of Kumandra, humans and dragons lived together in harmony. But when an evil force threatened the land, the dragons sacrificed themselves to save humanity. Now, 500 years later, that same evil has returned and it’s up to a lone warrior, Raya, to track down the legendary last dragon to restore the fractured land and its divided people.
8.1Determined to ensure Superman's ultimate sacrifice was not in vain, Bruce Wayne aligns forces with Diana Prince with plans to recruit a team of metahumans to protect the world from an approaching threat of catastrophic proportions.
7.8Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 1991. High school freshman Charlie is a wallflower, always watching life from the sidelines, until two senior students, Sam and her stepbrother Patrick, become his mentors, helping him discover the joys of friendship, music and love.
7.3A hardened gun-for-hire's latest mission becomes a soul-searching race to survive when he's sent into Bangladesh to rescue a drug lord's kidnapped son.
7.7As Hiccup fulfills his dream of creating a peaceful dragon utopia, Toothless’ discovery of an untamed, elusive mate draws the Night Fury away. When danger mounts at home and Hiccup’s reign as village chief is tested, both dragon and rider must make impossible decisions to save their kind.
8.2Tony Lip, a bouncer in 1962, is hired to drive pianist Don Shirley on a tour through the Deep South in the days when African Americans, forced to find alternate accommodations and services due to segregation laws below the Mason-Dixon Line, relied on a guide called The Negro Motorist Green Book.
7.9Harry Potter has lived under the stairs at his aunt and uncle's house his whole life. But on his 11th birthday, he learns he's a powerful wizard—with a place waiting for him at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As he learns to harness his newfound powers with the help of the school's kindly headmaster, Harry uncovers the truth about his parents' deaths—and about the villain who's to blame.
6.8When the Emperor of China issues a decree that one man per family must serve in the Imperial Chinese Army to defend the country from Huns, Hua Mulan, the eldest daughter of an honored warrior, steps in to take the place of her ailing father. She is spirited, determined and quick on her feet. Disguised as a man by the name of Hua Jun, she is tested every step of the way and must harness her innermost strength and embrace her true potential.
8.1In the summer of 1983, a 17-year-old Elio spends his days in his family's villa in Italy. One day Oliver, a graduate student, arrives to assist Elio's father, a professor of Greco-Roman culture. Soon, Elio and Oliver discover a summer that will alter their lives forever.
8.0In 1970s London amidst the punk rock revolution, a young grifter named Estella is determined to make a name for herself with her designs. She befriends a pair of young thieves who appreciate her appetite for mischief, and together they are able to build a life for themselves on the London streets. One day, Estella’s flair for fashion catches the eye of the Baroness von Hellman, a fashion legend who is devastatingly chic and terrifyingly haute. But their relationship sets in motion a course of events and revelations that will cause Estella to embrace her wicked side and become the raucous, fashionable and revenge-bent Cruella.
7.2While searching for her missing mother, intrepid teen Enola Holmes uses her sleuthing skills to outsmart big brother Sherlock and help a runaway lord.