
National Lampoons mockery of everything that is wrong with cable TV.
1979-02-23
3.333
5.5The Swamp Thing returns to battle the evil Dr. Arcane, who has a new science lab full of creatures transformed by genetic mutation, and chooses Heather Locklear as his new object of affection.
6.5Fourteen year old Nim, more determined than ever to protect her island and all the wildlife that call it home, faces off against resort developers and animal poachers. Soon she realizes she can’t depend on her animal cohorts alone and must make her first human friend – Edmund, who’s run away to the island from the mainland – to save her home.
6.2The evil Jafar escapes from the magic lamp as an all-powerful genie, ready to plot his revenge against Aladdin. From battling elusive villains atop winged horses, to dodging flames inside an exploding lava pit, it's up to Aladdin - with Princess Jasmine and the outrageously funny Genie by his side - to save the kingdom once and for all.
6.8The Cromwell clan lives in the real world, except for their grandmother who lives in Halloweentown, a place where monsters go to escape reality. But now the son of the Cromwells' old enemy Kalabar has a plan to use the grandmother's book to turn Halloweentown into a grey dreary version of the real world while transforming the denizens of the real world into monsters.
5.6Darkman and Durant return and they hate each other as much as ever. This time, Durant has plans to take over the city's drug trade using high-tech weaponry. Darkman must step in and try to stop Durant once and for all.
6.8A former alcoholic returns home after ten years in prison for the murder of her husband. As her recollection of the murder returns, things take a different turn.
6.4Rick and Evelyn O’Connell, along with their 8-year-old son Alex, discover the key to the legendary Scorpion King’s might: the fabled Bracelet of Anubis. Unfortunately, a newly resurrected Imhotep has designs on the bracelet as well, and isn’t above kidnapping its new bearer, Alex, to gain control of Anubis’s otherworldly army.
6.5Lina Inverse and Naga the White Serpent are back! What begins as a routine bandit-stomping turns into the adventure of a lifetime involving magical golems, an ancient Elven weapon and even someone bent on destroying the world. It's a predicament only Lina and Naga could get themselves in to.
6.7Set in the African savannah, the film follows Kion as he assembles the members of the 'Lion Guard'. Throughout the film, the diverse team of young animals will learn how to utilize each of their unique abilities to solve problems and accomplish tasks to maintain balance within the Circle of Life, while also introducing viewers to the vast array of animals that populate the prodigious African landscape.
6.3Milo and Kida reunite with their friends to investigate strange occurances around the world that seem to have links to the secrets of Atlantis.
5.6At last! The newly crowned King of Denmark, Edward, and his wife and Queen, Dr. Paige Morgan, find time to fly to Belavia for their secret honeymoon. What better way to spend the Christmas holidays than at a fabulous ski resort? But as they take a tour of Belavia's natural beauty, Eddie and Paige discover that the evil Prime Minister Polonius has given orders to bulldoze the precious forests - to drill for oil. Then, the couple bump into Paige's ex-boyfriend, Scott. Eddie immediately becomes jealous - furthermore he suspects Scott cannot be trusted. Paige and Eddie must do everything they can to save the forest, even if it means putting aside their honeymoon.
6.1Fifteen years after his father's experiments with matter transmission fail, Philippe Delambre and his uncle François attempt to create a matter transmission device on their own. However, their experiments have disastrous results, turning Philippe into a horrible half-man, half-fly creature.
6.5The reinvigorated elderly group that left Earth comes back to visit their relatives. Will they all decide to go back to the planet where no one grows old, or will they be tempted to remain on Earth?
6.3After retrieving the Crystal Skull in Utah, Flynn Carsen receives a map in the mail with the secret location of King Solomon's Mines. When the scroll is stolen, Judson explains the power of the Key of Solomon's book and assigns Flynn to retrieve the map. The map is useless without the legend piece to decipher it, which is located in Volubilis near the Roman ruins in Morocco. Flynn heads to Casablanca to the ruins where he is chased by a group of mercenaries leaded by General Samir. They too want to find the location of King Solomon's mines. Flynn teams-up with Professor Emily Davenport working in the dig and they escape from General Samir and his men. While traveling to Gedi, they save the local Jomo from death and the trio faces a dangerous journey through the wild Africa.
6.5In 1940, the world is besieged by World War II. Wendy, all grown up, has two children; including Jane, who does not believe Wendy's stories about Peter Pan.
9.9When the contestants at a way-cool snowboarding contest are suspiciously sidelined, Scooby-Doo and the kids investigate - and discover the chilling fact that There's No Creature Like Snow Creature! Then, there's dino-sized mystery afoot in Costa Rica when a fearsome Giganotosaurus jumps off a movie screen and goes on a rampage of 3-D Struction! Next, in Space Ape at the Cape the gang tangles with an extra-scary extraterrestrial who's monkeying around with an important rocket launch. And there's a Big Scare in the Big Easy when the Mystery Inc. crew unearths spooky doings at a haunted New Orleans cemetery!
6.0The archangel Gabriel returns to try to destroy the human race he despises so much, with the help of a suicidal teen and the opposition of the angel Danyael.
6.4A group of kids discover one of the drums containing a rotting corpse and release the 2-4-5 Trioxin gas into the air, causing the dead to once again rise from the grave and seek out brains.
6.6Having recently witnessed the horrific results of a top secret project to bring the dead back to life, a distraught teenager performs the operation on his girlfriend after she's killed in a motorcycle accident.
5.2In an attempt to rescue their friend from an evil corporation, a group of teenagers end up releasing a horde of bloodthirsty zombies.
6.4A fleet of Martian spacecraft surrounds the world's major cities and all of humanity waits to see if the extraterrestrial visitors have, as they claim, "come in peace." U.S. President James Dale receives assurance from science professor Donald Kessler that the Martians' mission is a friendly one. But when a peaceful exchange ends in the total annihilation of the U.S. Congress, military men call for a full-scale nuclear retaliation.
0.0Two vampire hunters fight something scarier than the supernatural... relationship problems.
A pre-internet mash-up that mixes “Peanuts” and David Lynch’s “Blue Velvet.”
7.1Cheese-loving eccentric Wallace and his cunning canine pal Gromit run a business ridding the town of garden pests. Using only humane methods, which turns their home into a halfway house for evicted vermin, the pair stumble upon a mystery involving a voracious vegetarian monster that threatens to ruin the annual veggie-growing contest.
5.5Jesus, who's hitting the big 3-0, brings a surprise guest to meet the family. A Christmas special so wrong it must be from comedians Porta dos Fundos.
6.5Scotland Yard investigators have to prevent the murder of Victoria Dickman when her name is found on a death list.
6.5Childlike Englishman, Mr. Bean, is an incompetent watchman at the Royal National Gallery. After the museum's board of directors' attempt to have him fired is blocked by the chairman, who has taken a liking to Bean, they send him to Los Angeles to act as their ambassador for the unveiling of a historic painting to humiliate him. Fooled, Mr. Bean must now successfully unveil the painting or risk his and a hapless Los Angeles curator's termination.
5.3A popular and beautiful politician plans to expose the evil-doings of a multinational corporation. Hoping to silence her, the corporation's top executives decide to hire the most incompetent detective they can find to act as her bodyguard.
5.8B Movie Legend Bruce Campbell is mistaken for his character Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy and forced to fight a real monster in a small town in Oregon.
6.1A faulty computer causes a passenger space shuttle to head straight for the sun, and man-with-a-past Ted Striker must save the day and get the shuttle back on track – again – all the while trying to patch up his relationship with Elaine.
6.6At a huge pillar stadium, the Grand Line Cup Final is being held. The "Straw Hat Pirate Team"(Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji, and Chopper) are having a tie breaker shoot out against the "Villian All Star Team"(Buggy, Bon Clay, Jango, Hatchan, and a soccer like head player named Odacchi). Everyone of them gets a turn in kicking the ball to the goal. While Coby is taking the goalie position, and isn't doing too good in blocking the goal. One after another, the game eventually comes to a sudden death match. Which team will win the Grand Line Cup?
7.1For four years, the courageous crew of the NSEA Protector — Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, Lieutenant Tawny Madison, and Doctor Lazarus — set off on a thrilling and often dangerous mission in space ... until their series was cancelled! Now, twenty years later, aliens under attack have mistaken the Galaxy Quest television transmissions for "historical documents" and beam up the crew of has-been actors to save the universe. With no script, no director, and no clue, the actors must turn in the performances of their lives.
6.9When the nefarious Dark Helmet hatches a plan to snatch Princess Vespa and steal her planet's air, space-bum-for-hire Lone Starr and his clueless sidekick fly to the rescue. Along the way, they meet Yogurt, who puts Lone Starr wise to the power of "The Schwartz." Can he master it in time to save the day?
4.3A couple of slackers find an antique dagger and manage to free the gorgeous female warrior that was imprisoned in it by an evil spell. An evil sorcerer is not happy by this turn of events and determines to possess both the blade and the warrior through a sacrificial ceremony. The two heroes manage to rescue the damsel in distress and defeat the wizard and his minions by employing skills mastered through hours of video game play.
7.6Former London constable Nicholas Angel finds it difficult to adapt to his new assignment in the sleepy British village of Sandford. Not only does he miss the excitement of the big city, but he also has a well-meaning oaf for a partner. However, when a series of grisly accidents rocks Sandford, Angel smells something rotten in the idyllic village.
7.9During World War II, two French civilians and a downed British Bomber Crew set out from Paris to cross the demarcation line between Nazi-occupied Northern France and the South. From there they will be able to escape to England. First, they must avoid German troops – and the consequences of their own blunders.
6.8Abahachi, Chief of the Apache Indians, and his blood brother Ranger maintain peace and justice in the Wild West. One day, Abahachi needs to take up a credit from the Shoshone Indians to finance his tribe's new saloon. Unfortunately Santa Maria, who sold the saloon, betrays Abahachi, takes the money and leaves. Soon, the Shoshones are on the warpath to get their money back, and Abahachi is forced to organize it quickly.
7.0A desperate husband chases a bus full of beautiful women headed for Paris, France.
6.3A trio of unemployed silent film actors are mistaken for real heroes by a small Mexican village in search of someone to stop a malevolent bandit.
7.0At a 1962 College, Dean Vernon Wormer is determined to expel the entire Delta Tau Chi Fraternity, but those troublemakers have other plans for him.