
National Lampoons mockery of everything that is wrong with cable TV.
1979-02-23
3.333
5.5The Swamp Thing returns to battle the evil Dr. Arcane, who has a new science lab full of creatures transformed by genetic mutation, and chooses Heather Locklear as his new object of affection.
6.5Fourteen year old Nim, more determined than ever to protect her island and all the wildlife that call it home, faces off against resort developers and animal poachers. Soon she realizes she can’t depend on her animal cohorts alone and must make her first human friend – Edmund, who’s run away to the island from the mainland – to save her home.
6.2The evil Jafar escapes from the magic lamp as an all-powerful genie, ready to plot his revenge against Aladdin. From battling elusive villains atop winged horses, to dodging flames inside an exploding lava pit, it's up to Aladdin - with Princess Jasmine and the outrageously funny Genie by his side - to save the kingdom once and for all.
6.8The Cromwell clan lives in the real world, except for their grandmother who lives in Halloweentown, a place where monsters go to escape reality. But now the son of the Cromwells' old enemy Kalabar has a plan to use the grandmother's book to turn Halloweentown into a grey dreary version of the real world while transforming the denizens of the real world into monsters.
5.6Darkman and Durant return and they hate each other as much as ever. This time, Durant has plans to take over the city's drug trade using high-tech weaponry. Darkman must step in and try to stop Durant once and for all.
6.8A former alcoholic returns home after ten years in prison for the murder of her husband. As her recollection of the murder returns, things take a different turn.
6.4Rick and Evelyn O’Connell, along with their 8-year-old son Alex, discover the key to the legendary Scorpion King’s might: the fabled Bracelet of Anubis. Unfortunately, a newly resurrected Imhotep has designs on the bracelet as well, and isn’t above kidnapping its new bearer, Alex, to gain control of Anubis’s otherworldly army.
6.5Lina Inverse and Naga the White Serpent are back! What begins as a routine bandit-stomping turns into the adventure of a lifetime involving magical golems, an ancient Elven weapon and even someone bent on destroying the world. It's a predicament only Lina and Naga could get themselves in to.
6.7Set in the African savannah, the film follows Kion as he assembles the members of the 'Lion Guard'. Throughout the film, the diverse team of young animals will learn how to utilize each of their unique abilities to solve problems and accomplish tasks to maintain balance within the Circle of Life, while also introducing viewers to the vast array of animals that populate the prodigious African landscape.
6.3Milo and Kida reunite with their friends to investigate strange occurances around the world that seem to have links to the secrets of Atlantis.
5.6At last! The newly crowned King of Denmark, Edward, and his wife and Queen, Dr. Paige Morgan, find time to fly to Belavia for their secret honeymoon. What better way to spend the Christmas holidays than at a fabulous ski resort? But as they take a tour of Belavia's natural beauty, Eddie and Paige discover that the evil Prime Minister Polonius has given orders to bulldoze the precious forests - to drill for oil. Then, the couple bump into Paige's ex-boyfriend, Scott. Eddie immediately becomes jealous - furthermore he suspects Scott cannot be trusted. Paige and Eddie must do everything they can to save the forest, even if it means putting aside their honeymoon.
6.1Fifteen years after his father's experiments with matter transmission fail, Philippe Delambre and his uncle François attempt to create a matter transmission device on their own. However, their experiments have disastrous results, turning Philippe into a horrible half-man, half-fly creature.
6.5The reinvigorated elderly group that left Earth comes back to visit their relatives. Will they all decide to go back to the planet where no one grows old, or will they be tempted to remain on Earth?
6.3After retrieving the Crystal Skull in Utah, Flynn Carsen receives a map in the mail with the secret location of King Solomon's Mines. When the scroll is stolen, Judson explains the power of the Key of Solomon's book and assigns Flynn to retrieve the map. The map is useless without the legend piece to decipher it, which is located in Volubilis near the Roman ruins in Morocco. Flynn heads to Casablanca to the ruins where he is chased by a group of mercenaries leaded by General Samir. They too want to find the location of King Solomon's mines. Flynn teams-up with Professor Emily Davenport working in the dig and they escape from General Samir and his men. While traveling to Gedi, they save the local Jomo from death and the trio faces a dangerous journey through the wild Africa.
6.5In 1940, the world is besieged by World War II. Wendy, all grown up, has two children; including Jane, who does not believe Wendy's stories about Peter Pan.
9.9When the contestants at a way-cool snowboarding contest are suspiciously sidelined, Scooby-Doo and the kids investigate - and discover the chilling fact that There's No Creature Like Snow Creature! Then, there's dino-sized mystery afoot in Costa Rica when a fearsome Giganotosaurus jumps off a movie screen and goes on a rampage of 3-D Struction! Next, in Space Ape at the Cape the gang tangles with an extra-scary extraterrestrial who's monkeying around with an important rocket launch. And there's a Big Scare in the Big Easy when the Mystery Inc. crew unearths spooky doings at a haunted New Orleans cemetery!
6.0The archangel Gabriel returns to try to destroy the human race he despises so much, with the help of a suicidal teen and the opposition of the angel Danyael.
6.4A group of kids discover one of the drums containing a rotting corpse and release the 2-4-5 Trioxin gas into the air, causing the dead to once again rise from the grave and seek out brains.
6.6Having recently witnessed the horrific results of a top secret project to bring the dead back to life, a distraught teenager performs the operation on his girlfriend after she's killed in a motorcycle accident.
5.2In an attempt to rescue their friend from an evil corporation, a group of teenagers end up releasing a horde of bloodthirsty zombies.
Six teenagers go up to an old cabin in the woods for a vacation get-away. When they get there, strange things start happening. The cabin was used as a torture/execution site in medieval times. A young man named Jared, who was convicted of killing his wife, was tortured to death. Only thing was, he was innocent, and his soul is now trapped in that very cabin. His soul can't be released until the cabin is destroyed. Jared placed a spell on Earth, in the year 1998 AD, to make Earth devoid of light and life. One by one, the kids are turned into bloodthirsty, merciless zombie-deadites, as Jared possesses their very bodies, in an attempt to make them destroy the cabin. The helpless kids fight for their very lives against what used to be friends and lovers.
6.4A fleet of Martian spacecraft surrounds the world's major cities and all of humanity waits to see if the extraterrestrial visitors have, as they claim, "come in peace." U.S. President James Dale receives assurance from science professor Donald Kessler that the Martians' mission is a friendly one. But when a peaceful exchange ends in the total annihilation of the U.S. Congress, military men call for a full-scale nuclear retaliation.
5.8Vampire Anton Voytek's lair is disturbed by the ground breaking for a new church. Anton attempts to start a modern life using his hoarded wealth, but finds it's been confiscated by the authorities. He takes revenge on the architect responsible, who in turn, aided by a retired detective, tries to hunt down and destroy Anton.
8.7May 10th, 1981. François Mitterrand is elected President of the Republic. The “soviet tanks” supposedly coming upon the Champs-Élysées dressed in red, feared by some, did not march. Serge Moati takes a personal look at this episode, focusing on the relationship the president had with television, that he witnessed and played a role in.
7.4TV MX, the most powerful Mexican Television Corporation, discloses a scandalous story involving Governor Carmelo Vargas in serious crimes and illicit business. Governor Vargas worried about his political future, decides to clean his image and negotiates a billionaire secret agreement with the owners of the TV Corporation. Carlos Rojo, an ambitious young news producer, and Ricardo Diaz, TV network star reporter, are responsible for making a dirty campaign to change the image the public has of the corrupt Governor and make him, at any cost, a political star and a great presidential candidate. Mexican Television believes that democracy is a farce and has already placed one President... Will they do it again?
3.8An all-female version of the Van Helsing tale reconfigures the vampire story as an erotic fantasy. The great, great granddaughter of Van Helsing seeks to slay the sexy Countess Dracula. She may have to pretend to be her devoted love slave to get closer to the bloodthirsty demon.
4.7Bored Private Investigator, Harry Bates, goes on a wild adventure when an alluring new client, Allie Glades, hires him to find her brother that just might be their sleepy small Florida town’s mythical monster, “The Crocodylus” in this comedy-horror that is like Ace Ventura mixed with Monty Python.
5.0A group of workers at a beer factory fight crime together.
0.0A modern couple from a typical advertisement: young, attractive, and brand-conscious. As they use the products on their breakfast table they begin to quote lines from the relevant advertisemnet. Soon their behavior departs from the accepted advertising norm as they zealously defend each other´s products to the death.
7.1When an unsuspecting town newcomer is drawn to local blood fiends, the Frog brothers and other unlikely heroes gear up to rescue him.
4.4A couple of slackers find an antique dagger and manage to free the gorgeous female warrior that was imprisoned in it by an evil spell. An evil sorcerer is not happy by this turn of events and determines to possess both the blade and the warrior through a sacrificial ceremony. The two heroes manage to rescue the damsel in distress and defeat the wizard and his minions by employing skills mastered through hours of video game play.
6.6Suzanne Stone wants to be a world-famous news anchor and she is willing to do anything to get what she wants. What she lacks in intelligence, she makes up for in cold determination and diabolical wiles. As she pursues her goal with relentless focus, she is forced to destroy anything and anyone that may stand in her way, regardless of the ultimate cost or means necessary.
7.8Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.
6.5Scotland Yard investigators have to prevent the murder of Victoria Dickman when her name is found on a death list.
6.5Childlike Englishman, Mr. Bean, is an incompetent watchman at the Royal National Gallery. After the museum's board of directors' attempt to have him fired is blocked by the chairman, who has taken a liking to Bean, they send him to Los Angeles to act as their ambassador for the unveiling of a historic painting to humiliate him. Fooled, Mr. Bean must now successfully unveil the painting or risk his and a hapless Los Angeles curator's termination.
5.4A popular and beautiful politician plans to expose the evil-doings of a multinational corporation. Hoping to silence her, the corporation's top executives decide to hire the most incompetent detective they can find to act as her bodyguard.
6.7When North Korean ruler Kim Jong-il orchestrates a global terrorist plot, it's up to the heavily armed, highly specialized Team America unit to stop his dastardly scheme. The group, which has recruited troubled Broadway actor Gary Johnston, not only has to face off against Jong-il, but they must also contend with the Film Actors Guild, a cadre of Hollywood liberals at odds with Team America's 'policing the world' tactics.
7.4French military man Adrien Dufourquet gets an eight-day furlough to visit his fiancée, Agnès. But when he arrives in Paris, he learns that her late father's partner, museum curator Professor Catalan, has just been kidnapped by a group of Amazon tribesmen who have also stolen a priceless statue from the museum. Adrien and Agnès pursue the kidnappers to Brazil, where they learn that the statue is the key to a hidden Amazon treasure.