
Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians(2008)
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Movie: Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
HomePage
Overview
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Release Date
2008-11-20
Average
8
Rating:
4.0 startsTagline
Genres
Languages:
EnglishKeywords
Recommendations Movies
6.3A Bad Moms Christmas(en)
Amy, Kiki and Carla – three under-appreciated and over-burdened women – rebel against the challenges and expectations of the Super Bowl for mothers: Christmas. And if creating a more perfect holiday for their families wasn’t hard enough, they have to do all of that while hosting and entertaining their own mothers.
7.029th Street(en)
After winning $6.2 million in the 1976 New York State Lottery, he is arrested for throwing rocks at a church. He then tells his story at the police station.
6.8The Trailer Park Boys Xmas Special(en)
In this holiday prequel, it’s 1997 and Sunnyvale Trailer Park is getting ready for the holiday season. Julian’s got a great idea to make money this Christmas, Ricky gets confused between God and Santa, and Bubbles tries to get the Boys together for an annual Christmas bonfire. Meanwhile, Mr. Lahey is thrilled because Christmas is the only day of the year that his wife Barb allows him to have a few drinks. Directed by series creator Mike Clattenburg, this hour-long special takes place before Jamie was J-Roc, before Randy and Lahey were a couple, and before the Shitmobile was missing a door.
7.1Once Upon a Deadpool(en)
A kidnapped Fred Savage is forced to endure Deadpool's PG-13 rendition of Deadpool 2, as a Princess Bride-esque story that's full of magic, wonder, and zero Fs.
7.2Violent Night(en)
When a team of mercenaries breaks into a wealthy family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone inside hostage, the team isn’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why this Nick is no saint.
6.2The Hangover Part III(en)
This time, there's no wedding. No bachelor party. What could go wrong, right? But when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off.
6.0The Wedding Year(en)
A commitment-phobic 27-year old’s relationship is put to the test when she and her boyfriend attend 7 weddings in the same year.
7.0Ricky Gervais Live 3: Fame(en)
The third of Ricky Gervais' themed live stand-up shows.
6.9Ricky Gervais: Mortality(en)
Ricky Gervais tackles life, death and the state of the world in a brutally honest special that spares no topic, even his own mortality.
7.2Ricky Gervais: Armageddon(en)
Ricky Gervais dishes out controversial takes on political correctness and oversensitivity in a taboo-busting comedy special about the end of humanity.
6.9Bill Burr: Walk Your Way Out(en)
No-nonsense comic Bill Burr takes the stage in Nashville and riffs on fast food, overpopulation, dictators and gorilla sign language.
7.7John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid(en)
Armed with boyish charm and a sharp wit, the former "SNL" writer offers sly takes on marriage, his beef with babies and the time he met Bill Clinton.
7.3Eddie Murphy Raw(en)
Eddie Murphy delights, shocks and entertains with dead-on celebrity impersonations, observations on '80s love, sex and marriage, a remembrance of Mom's hamburgers and much more.
6.5The Best Man Holiday(en)
When college friends reunite after 15 years over the Christmas holidays, they discover just how easy it is for long-forgotten rivalries and romances to be reignited.
7.9John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City(en)
John Mulaney relays stories from his childhood and "SNL," eviscerates the value of college and laments getting older in this electric comedy special.
6.1Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa(en)
86-year-old Irving Zisman is on a journey across America with the most unlikely companion: his 8 year-old grandson, Billy.
7.2Ricky Gervais Live: Animals(en)
Ricky Gervais entertains a live audience in his first stand-up routine.
7.2Dave Chappelle: The Closer(en)
As he closes out his slate of comedy specials, Dave takes the stage to try and set the record straight — and get a few things off his chest.
5.8Puff, Puff, Pass(en)
Danny Masterson (TV's 'That '70s Show') leads a hilarious ensemble cast in a tale about two hapless stoners who get involved in a scheme to rip off a shady character named Mr. Big after the duo sours on rehab.
6.2Border Hunters(en)
After his police officer brother is killed by a drug dealer who flees to the protection of his cartel-connected uncle in Mexico, an American man with a diverse law enforcement/military background goes south of the border to get revenge
Similar Movies
7.1Love Actually(en)
Eight very different couples deal with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London.
6.0Cockles and Muscles(fr)
Crustacés et coquillages is a fresh French comedy film with numerous surprise turnarounds and about the tolerance of a family of four. The family spend an idealistic summer vacation together where each of the family members gets involved in a new or old relationship.
4.0Holiday for Hire(en)
After years of being the “single sister”, Katie is excited to finally have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas with her family. She wasn’t expecting to get dumped by Dean the day before she’s supposed to go. Unable to face flying solo again this year, she agrees when her roommate suggests she hire a man to play her boyfriend, just for a few days.
6.1Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up(en)
As the holidays approach, Emily and Jared are looking forward to celebrating the holidays together again, this time as a couple. Emily, now embracing Evergreen Lane’s uniquely festive spirit, is ready to work with Jared, Ned, Mary Louise and Pamela to make this year’s Christmas celebrations the best yet – even if being the HOA president’s girlfriend doesn’t stop those dreaded decorating citations. When a house on the block goes up for sale, it causes quite a stir with residents.
4.0The Little Rascals' Christmas Special(en)
Spanky and Porky try to figure out a way to get their mother a winter coat for Christmas after she buys them a Blue Comet electric train.
6.8Summer Storm(de)
Tobi and Achim, the pride of the local crew club, have been the best of friends for years and are convinced that nothing will ever stand in the way of their friendship. They look forward to the upcoming summer camp and the crew competition. Then the gay team from Berlin arrives and Tobi is totally confused. The evening before the races begin, the storm that breaks out is more than meteorological.
5.0Harry Fox and His Six American Beauties(en)
Harry Fox performs his vaudeville act.
7.1The Holiday(en)
Two women, one American and one British, swap homes at Christmastime following bad breakups. Each woman finds romance with a local man but realizes that the imminent return home may end the relationship.
7.1Small Change(fr)
The lives of a motherless young man, who's just starting to find interest in women, and his physically abused, poverty stricken friend, are mixed with more or less innocent childhood experiences and challenges most their age experience.
6.3Dieter Nuhr: Nuhr in Berlin(de)
Dieter Nuhr: Nuhr in Berlin: A Netflix Original The cerebral and popular German cabaret comic expounds his theories on gender norms, primal instincts and a decidedly gastrointestinal Big Bang.
6.9Shaun the Sheep: The Flight Before Christmas(en)
Shaun's seasonal excitement turns to dismay when a farmhouse raid to get bigger stockings for the flock inadvertently leads to Timmy going missing. Can Shaun get Timmy back before he becomes someone else’s present?
7.8Busted: Christmas for Everyone(en)
Whilst doing their last concert before the Christmas Holidays, Busted find that their guitars have all disappeared mysteriously. With their only clue to there where-abouts being a mysterious note signed by 'Sinister Santa' the band take on London in hopes of finding their Guitars but learn the true meaning of Christmas along the way.
6.5Pieces of April(en)
Quirky and rebellious April Burns lives with her boyfriend in a low-rent New York City apartment miles away from her emotionally distant family. But when she discovers that her mother has a fatal form of breast cancer, she invites the clan to her place for Thanksgiving. While her father struggles to drive her family into the city, April -- an inexperienced cook -- runs into kitchen trouble and must ask a neighbor for help.
6.7Jolly Good Christmas(en)
David is an American architect who relocates across the pond to take up a job at a prestigious London firm. As the clock counts down to Christmas Day, David is running out of time to buy his girlfriend – who also happens to be his boss’s daughter – a thoughtful present so he resorts to buying her a somewhat uninspired gift card.
6.7The Princess Switch 3: Romancing the Star(en)
A priceless relic is stolen from identical royals Queen Margaret and Princess Stacy, who enlist the help of their sketchy look-alike cousin Fiona Pembroke to retrieve it.
6.8How the Grinch Stole Christmas(en)
The Grinch decides to rob Whoville of Christmas - but a dash of kindness from little Cindy Lou Who and her family may be enough to melt his heart...
4.1The Love Guru(en)
Born in America and raised in an Indian ashram, Pitka returns to his native land to seek his fortune as a spiritualist and self-help expert. His skills are put to the test when he must get a brokenhearted hockey player's marriage back on track in time for the man to help his team win the Stanley Cup.
5.8Four Christmases(en)
Brad and Kate have made something of an art form out of avoiding their families during the holidays, but this year their foolproof plan is about go bust -- big time. Stuck at the city airport after all departing flights are canceled, the couple is embarrassed to see their ruse exposed to the world by an overzealous television reporter. Now, Brad and Kate are left with precious little choice other than to swallow their pride and suffer the rounds.
4.5Home Alone 4(en)
Kevin McCallister's parents have split up. Now living with his mom, he decides to spend Christmas with his dad at the mansion of his father's rich girlfriend, Natalie. Meanwhile robber Marv Merchants, one of the villains from the first two movies, partners up with a new criminal named Vera to hit Natalie's mansion.





