Suzon, Prostitute (segment "L'avarice")
Treasure hunter Ben "Finn" Finnegan has sunk his marriage to Tess and his trusty boat in his obsessive quest to find the legendary Queen's Dowry. When he finds a vital clue that may finally pinpoint the treasure's whereabouts, he drags Tess and her boss, billionaire Nigel Honeycutt, along on the hunt. But Finn is not the only one interested in the gold; his former mentor-turned-enemy Moe Fitch, hired by rapper-turned-gangster Bigg Bunny, will stop at nothing to beat him to it.
Frustrated with their relationship, Priscilla and Jack decide to take a break. While Jack moves into a new place of his own and starts dating a student, Priscilla discovers the joys of self-pleasuring and finds an unusual bedmate.
A lonely man with an intention of documenting every important detail is planning to kill his ex-girlfriend within 72 hours only to realize things are not as easy as he previously imagined.
A decadent countess, middle-aged but still attractive, forces her young and timid daughter to marry a rich butcher. But the couple’s sexual relation is troubled, because the girl has her fair share of inhibitions. So she abandons her house and seeks refuge at her sister’s place. During her absence, her husband finds consolation in his mother in law’s arms.
Four friends search for love and happiness while working at a California sandwich shop.
Teenager Jones has opted not to go to college and is instead renting a room in a boarding house to work on his writing skills. Soon, Jones finds himself dividing his time between two women: a young actress named Lisa and a photographer named Jane. After Jane's ex-boyfriend arrives to help her recover from a car accident, Jones begins to understand just how much he cares for her.
Ralph Macchio, once a former teen idol, once on top the world in the 80s. Now he is a family man with a loving wife and the nicest man in Hollywood... that is the problem. Because he never once participated in a scandal he is not as popular as he used to be. Sick and tired of it, his wife stages an intervention with his former co stars and manager. They explain to him that in order to further his career he has to shed the nice guy routine and become the most hated man in America. With some inspiration by other scandalous celebrities such as Colin Farrell and Christian Bale; Macchio decides to partake in every scandal known to modern America. Will he succeed in his career or would he go too far?
Blue-collar Paulie prepares for fatherhood and his forthcoming wedding to Sue by hanging out with his groomsmen. Brother Jimbo, cousin Mike, and his pals fill the reunion with drinking, boys-will-be-boys antics and a few unexpected personal confessions. But, when the bonding devolves into accusations and regret, Paulie has to decide whether he's ready to tie the knot and take this big step into adulthood.
Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
Irish Sketch Movie Starring Jon Kenny & Pat Shortt
Irish Comedy Starring Jon Kenny & Pat Shortt
Irish Comedy starring Jon Kenny & Pat Shortt
Unable to meet all the demands of his job and family anymore, Mathieu feels he's in a mid-life crisis and hurriedly leaves for the forest. His relatives are left by themselves, faced with his sudden departure and their choices.
Bounced from her job, Erin Grant needs money if she's to have any chance of winning back custody of her child. But, eventually, she must confront the naked truth: to take on the system, she'll have to take it all off. Erin strips to conquer, but she faces unintended circumstances when a hound dog of a Congressman zeroes in on her and sharpens the shady tools at his fingertips, including blackmail and murder.
Manhattanite Ashley is known to many as the luckiest woman around. After a chance encounter with a down-and-out young man, however, she realizes that she's swapped her fortune for his.
Although Brad has a satisfying career, a sweet wife and a comfortable life in suburban Sacramento, things aren't quite what he imagined during his college glory days. When he accompanies his musical prodigy son on a university tour, he can't help comparing his life with those of his four best college friends who seemingly have more wealthy and glamorous lives. But when circumstances force him to reconnect with his former friends, Brad begins to question whether he has really failed or if their lives are actually more flawed than they appear.
Life's questions are 'answered' in a series of outrageous vignettes, beginning with a staid London insurance company which transforms before our eyes into a pirate ship. Then there's the National Health doctors who try to claim a healthy liver from a still-living donor. The world's most voracious glutton brings the art of vomiting to new heights before his spectacular demise.
College coeds in New York City, Al, the son of a celebrity chef, and Imogen, a talented artist, become smitten the second they lay eyes on one another at a bar. However, the road to happiness is not a smooth one. Outside forces, including a predatory porn star who wants to lure Al into her bed, threaten to pull apart the young lovers before their romance has a chance to really flourish.
The protagonist is Carmen X, a sexy female member of a terrorist gang. She asks her uncle Jean, a washed-up film director if she can borrow his beachside house to make a film with some friends, but they are in fact planning to rob a bank. During the robbery she falls in love with a security guard. The film intercuts between Carmen's escape with the guard, her uncle's attempt to make a comeback film, and a string quartet attempting to perform Beethoven.
Gianni is a middle-aged man living in Rome with his imposing and demanding elderly mother. His only outlet from her and the increasing debt into which they are sinking, are the increasingly frequent quiet sessions at the local tavern. As an Oriental saying goes, 'Moments of crisis are moments of opportunities'. These appear during the celebration of the holiday of Ferragosto on 15 August. That's when everybody leaves town to have fun. Opportunity knocks on Gianni's door in the most unexpected way.
The relationships among two pre-pubescent brothers and their estranged father are tested on a trip into the Russian wilderness.
Erin and Garrett are very much in love. When Erin moves to San Francisco to finish her journalism degree and Garrett stays behind in New York to work in the music industry, they gamely keep the romance alive with webcams and frequent-flyer miles. But just when it seems the lovers will soon be reunited, they each score a big break that could separate them for good.
A saga centered on a multi-generational family of New York City Police officers. The family's moral codes are tested when Ray Tierney, investigates a case that reveals an incendiary police corruption scandal involving his own brother-in-law. For Ray, the truth is revelatory, a Pandora's Box that threatens to upend not only the Tierney legacy but the entire NYPD.
A lowly pencil pusher working for MI7, Johnny English is suddenly promoted to super spy after Agent One is assassinated and every other agent is blown up at his funeral. When a billionaire entrepreneur sponsors the exhibition of the Crown Jewels—and the valuable gems disappear on the opening night and on English's watch—the newly-designated agent must jump into action to find the thief and recover the missing gems.
A queue at the ATM machine, a displaced family after a seismic shock that has half-washed their home, a tour within an art gallery, moments of everyday life that become the cues for the emergence of comic, farce, paradoxical situations – trademarks of one of the most successful Italian comic groups.
Professional driver, and former Special Forces officer, Frank Martin is living in Miami, where he is temporarily filling in for a friend as the chauffeur for a government narcotics control policy director and his family. The young boy in the family is targeted for kidnapping, and Frank immediately becomes involved in protecting the child and exposing the kidnappers.
Firefighters Chuck Ford and Larry Valentine are guy's guys, loyal to the core—which is why when widower Larry asks Chuck to pose as his lover so that he can get domestic partner benefits for his kids, his buddy agrees. However, things get dicey when a bureaucrat comes calling, and the boys are forced to present a picture of domestic bliss.
The human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.
With school out for the summer, The Littles are vacationing in a cabin by the lake, and Stuart is so excited he could burst! But when Snowbell the cat is captured by a mean-spirited creature known simply as the Beast, it's up to Stuart and a skunk named Reeko to rescue him and a few other friends.
The Baker brood moves to Chicago after patriarch Tom gets a job coaching football at Northwestern University, forcing his writer wife, Mary, and the couple's 12 children to make a major adjustment. The transition works well until work demands pull the parents away from home, leaving the kids bored -- and increasingly mischievous.
In 17th century New England, witch hunter Giles Redferne captures an evil warlock, but the conjurer eludes death with supernatural help. Flung into the future, the warlock winds up in the 1980s and plans to bring about the end of the world. Redferne follows the enchanter into the modern era and continues his mission, but runs into trouble in such unfamiliar surroundings. With the help of a young woman, can Redferne finally defeat the warlock?
Kindhearted Griffin Keyes is one of the best-loved caretakers at the Franklin Park Zoo, but he's more comfortable with the animals than with females of his own species as proven by his failed marriage proposal to the self-absorbed Stephanie several years ago. The animals have listened to Griffin pine over her for years and, after she reappears in his life, they decide to help Griffin rekindle the relationship and become the alpha male she wants him to be. They inadvertently reveal their secret ability to talk and, after Griffin's initial shock, teach him the rules of courtship, animal-style. Surprisingly, the animals' advice really works and Griffin is about to get everything he's ever dreamed of--or is he?
It has taken 10 years, two little Fockers with wife Pam and countless hurdles for Greg to finally get in with his tightly wound father-in-law, Jack. After the cash-strapped dad takes a job moonlighting for a drug company, Jack's suspicions about his favorite male nurse come roaring back. When Greg and Pam's entire clan descends for the twins' birthday party, Greg must prove to the skeptical Jack that he's fully capable as the man of the house.
Cool government operative James Bond searches for a stolen invention that can turn the sun's heat into a destructive weapon. He soon crosses paths with the menacing Francisco Scaramanga, a hitman so skilled he has a seven-figure working fee. Bond then joins forces with the swimsuit-clad Mary Goodnight, and together they track Scaramanga to a Thai tropical isle hideout where the killer-for-hire lures the slick spy into a deadly maze for a final duel.
Carol Anne has been sent to live with her Aunt and Uncle in an effort to hide her from the clutches of the ghostly Reverend Kane, but he tracks her down and terrorises her in her relatives' appartment in a tall glass building. Will he finally achieve his target and capture Carol Anne again, or will Tangina be able, yet again, to thwart him?
As a seasoned homicide detective, Thomas Craven has seen the bleakest side of humanity. But nothing prepares him for the toughest investigation of his life: the search for his only daughter Emma's killer. Now, he is on a personal mission to uncover the disturbing secrets surrounding her murder, including corporate corruption, government collusion and Emma's own mysterious life.
A gang of thieves calling themselves the Santa Claus Gang are wreaking havoc, and the police can't keep up. Police Captain Gilbert is distracted by a Chinese reporter writing a story on his squad, and taxi driver Daniel is in the midst of a relationship crisis. After a string of mistakes in which the thieves outsmart the police time and time again, Daniel and his super-taxi pitch in.
A disgruntled ex-CIA operative, his assistant and their assembled group of terrorists seize a battleship with nuclear blackmail in mind. They've planned for every contingency but ignore the ship's cook, former Navy SEAL Casey Ryback—an error that could be fatal.