Quarter to Two Before Jesus Christ

Ninotchka(en)

A stern Russian woman sent to Paris on official business finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest.

Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier(en)

Hop on your flying carpet, because this musical parody retells the classic tale of Aladdin... from the villain's point of view! Long ago in a Magic Kingdom, one misunderstood Royal Vizier will go on a quest to save his city from its bumbling sultan, an invading prince, and the most notorious thief to ever live! With the help of the Kingdom's free-spirited, teenage Princess, the Vizier must find a magical lamp containing a wish-granting Djinn (who's really funny, by the way) and defeat the city's most-wanted criminal... Aladdin! This musical adventure celebrates and lovingly pokes fun at everyone's favorite series of hand-drawn, animated films.

The Man with the Objective Lens(de)

A humorous and satirical comedy, which places a man from the year 2222 one day in the (then) present day life in GDR, East Germany under Communist regime. Using a crystal for mind reading he uncovers some improprieties and moral weaknesses in the "Beautiful future" professed by VEB ("Volkseigener Betrieb" – "State Owned Holdings").

Asterix & Obelix: Mission Cleopatra(fr)

The Egyptian Queen Cleopatra bets against the Roman Emperor, Julius Caesar, that her people are still great, even if the times of the Pharaohs has long passed. She vows (against all logic) to build a new palace for Caesar within three months. Since all her architects are either busy otherwise or too conservative in style, this ambivalent honor falls to Edifis. He is to build the palace and be covered in gold or, if not, his fate is to be eaten by crocodiles. Edifis calls upon an old friend to help him out: The fabulous Druid Getafix from Gaul, who brews a fantastic potion that gives supernatural strength. In order to help and protect the old Druid, Asterix and Obelix accompany him on his journey to Egypt. When Julius Caesar gets wind of the project succeeding, he has the building site attacked by his troops in order to win the bet and not lose face. But just like the local pirates, he hasn't counted on Asterix and Obelix.

Romeo & Julio(hr)

Break-dance trash musical comedy/parody based on William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet.

Apparatspott - Gerangel in Ruum un Tied(de)

Aliens plundered the beer supplies of Lower German City of Sulingen. But the annual Marksman's fair is imminent and going to fail without beer. Therefore, the Apparatspott is sent. While it takes the captain on the planet Rollrich II, the crew had to face the Aliens.

Apparatspott - Dat mokt wie gistern(de)

Shortly after she enforced the dramatic cuts on the city's science budget, the mayor disappears without a trace. The crew of the Apparatspott goes on a journey through time to save her.

The Black Dude Lives!(en)

A mysterious creature is terrorizing the community, but despite all the evidence pointing to the culprit being a werewolf, the authorities can only seem to focus on the black dude in their midst.

The Hunchback(en)

A delirious sci-fi riff on the Arabian Nights' 'Tale of the Hunchback', that submerges us in a technological dystopia reigned by Dalaya.com, a mega-corporation that forces its employees to 'relax' at company-run medieval reenactments.

The Hungover Games(en)

Each year, drunk people are selected to participate in torturous games the morning after a big night out. There's no sunglasses, no water, and no headache medicine. "The Hungover Games," a film that manages to merge the premises of both "The Hunger Games" and "The Hangover" and throw in references to "Ted," "Django Unchained," "The Lord of the Rings," "Carrie," "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and whatever else crossed the writers' fevered brains during the probably very drunken "development process."

Carry On Screaming!(en)

The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!

Carry On Don't Lose Your Head(en)

The time of the French revolution, and Citizen Robespierre is beheading the French aristocracy. When word gets to England, two noblemen, Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes "The Black Fingernail", scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.

Carry On Cowboy(en)

Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.

Carry On Cleo(en)

Two Britons—inventor Hengist Pod, and Horse, a brave and cunning fighter—are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Cleopatra.

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens(en)

Believe it or not even in Smalltown USA there are still people who are unfulfilled and unrelieved in the midst of plenty. Levonna & Lamar could have the perfect relationship if it were not Lamar's obsession with rear entry. After submitting to the one last time Levonna comes up with a plan. While Lamar is trying find other tail to try his technique on, Levonna becomes Lola with aid of a wig and a Mexican accent. A Mexican cocktail later Lola finally has Lamar straight, but he wasn't awake for it. The gay marriage counselor, attracted to Lamar's problem, couldn't help them and Lemar must finally seek redemption at the church of Rio Dio Radio and the laying on of hands by Sister Eufaula Roo.

Auto Shop of Horrors(en)

A mentally disturbed car mechanic, with a deep fascination of Aztec culture, is convinced that if he consumes enough human eyeballs, he'll possess the ability to see in the future.

Life Stinks(en)

A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with a homeless woman.

Příště budeme chytřejší, staroušku!(cs)

Espião Nacionalizado Nosso(pt)

A telefilm that satirizes the Portuguese espionage.

Cinemagic(ru)

Aspiring directors Lev Zaretski (a sadist) and Ruslan Romanov (an anime MC) will show you how to properly write a screenplay; cast actors; do a film shoot; and answer questions from annoying film festival attendees.

Banzaï(fr)

Michel works there manically solving people's problems over the phone. He is about to tie the knot with his girl friend Isabelle, an airline hostess. She flies all over the world, he hates to leave the office. A series of madcap mishaps involving theft or injury (as you would expect in his line of work) ensues after Michel promises Isabelle nothing will delay their marriage and she promises in turn that she's done flying. Once this unlikely promise is made, it becomes premise and both are forced into escalating white lies to maintain the appearance of keeping their word. Their predicament mounts as Isabelle is forced to do a few more flights, while Michel is compelled to travel to New York, Tunisia, and finally Hong Kong, where they are finally reunited in the throes of a contrived and hilarious drug deal involving a 747, water taxi chases, and martial arts.

The Inquisitor(fr)

Martinaud, an illustrious notary suspected of being the perpetrator of two horrendous crimes, voluntarily agrees to be questioned by Inspector Gallien on New Year's Eve. What initially is a routine procedure, soon becomes a harsh interrogation that seems to confirm the initial suspicions.

The Hunchback of Paris(fr)

Duke Philippe de Nevers is an influential and popular man who is married to a beautiful wife called Aurore. His rival Philippe de Gonzague hates him enough to organise an attempt on him. The Duke is accompagnied by Henri de Lagardère when de Gonzague's henchmen altogether attack him. Lagardère cannot save his friend because the both of them are hopelessly outnumbered. He has to escape in order to save the Duke's daughter and swears revenge. Together with his old buddy Passepoil he raises the little girl in Spain. At the same time he returns frequently to France where he detects confronts his friend's murderers and puts them to the sword one by one until only their former leader is left. Finally he discovers that Philippe de Gonzague is the man for whom he is looking.

Borsalino and Co.(fr)

Marseille. Heaps of flowers and funeral wreaths... "A man who no longer defends his colors is no longer a man."

Dodge City(en)

In this epic Western, Wade Hatton, a wagon master turned sheriff, tames a cow town at the end of a railroad line.

Should Not!...(fr)

Bernard, an executive for a big company, tries to get home in time for his wedding but is caught in the middle of a mass suicide. He saves a sect member who then follows him like a puppy, and is chased by the sect leaders, two over-the-top crooks with bloated egos and a craving for money.

Walt Disney's Fables - Vol.5(en)

Six more animated stories from the Disney studios. 'Three Blind Mousketeers' follows the misadventures of the outrageous trio. In 'Three Little Pigs', the Big Bad Wolf is doing his best to cunningly snare the guileless little pigs, while in 'Three Little Wolves' he goes one step further and decides to disguise and train his own offspring to lure them into his fold. 'Funny Little Bunnies' explores the mystery of the Easter Bunny. 'Lambert the Sheepish Lion' is a lovable, shy lion who plucks up the courage to protect his adopted family of ewes and rams. 'Ferdinand the Bull' gets in a scrape at a Madrid bullring when he gets stung by a bee and the crowd mistake him for a fighting bull.

The Big Scare(fr)

Two police inspectors pursue a dangerous counterfeiter on the run.

Neapolitan Boy in New York(it)

The story of Nino, a street boy from Naples, and his friend Matumba, a boy from New York who wants to emigrate to Naples.

Man Is a Woman(fr)

Simon Eskenazy is a gay Parisian clarinet player who lives his single life to the fullest. One day, he receives a very tempting offer from his homophobic uncle, looking to continue the family legacy – if he gets married and has a child, he will receive ten million francs and inherit his uncle's luxurious mansion. After meeting Rosalie Baumann at his cousin David's wedding, and with some convincing on his mother's part, Simon sees an opportunity to fulfill his uncle's wishes and the pair go ahead and get married, but not before traveling to New York to meet Rosalie's Orthodox Jewish family. As Simon tries to develop real feelings for Rosalie, he struggles with his feelings for his newlywed cousin David.

Madame Irma(fr)

Francis, who is in his forties, manages the French subsidiary of an American high-tech company. But the shareholders suddenly decide to close it. Depressed by the idea of being unemployed and the prospect of losing his second wife, Francis decides to consult a fortune-teller. The experience is a real eye-opener for him and the start of a new career: He pretends to be a fortune teller himself and turns into Madame Irma. How to explain that to his wife Clotilde?

Les Cowboys(fr)

Drama about a father and son who set out to find their missing daughter/sister with the help of an American headhunter.

Le Maître d'école(fr)

After having lost his job for having saved a child accused of shop lifting, Frédéric Barbier decides to become a school teacher with some funny results.The great comedy actor Coluche is excellent as a simple school teacher.

The Children of the Marshland(fr)

The film is set in Marais, a quiet region along the banks of Loire river in 1918. Riton is afflicted with a bad-tempered wife and three unruly children. Garris lives alone with his recollections of World War I trenches. Their daily life consists of seasonal work and visits from their two pals: Tane, the local train conductor and Amédée, a dreamer and voracious reader of classics.

My Worst Nightmare(fr)

Agathe runs an art gallery. Her husband François is a publisher. Together they have one son, and in every way seem to be the picture of normality — but emotions are stewing under the surface. All it takes is the arrival of a complete stranger for things to start unravelling. Patrick is brash, uncouth and totally unselfconscious...

Buffet Froid(fr)

An absurd black comedy that cunningly reverses the conventions of the crime thriller to comment on the alienating and dehumanizing effects of contemporary urban life. Alphonse Tram is unwittingly involved in several murders despite having no memory of committing the crimes. His confusion lead him to confess to his neighbour, Inspector Morvandieu. Alphonse and Morvandieu become the axis around which murders occur.

La Cage aux Folles(fr)

Two gay men living in St. Tropez have their lives turned upside down when the son of one of the men announces he is getting married. They try to conceal their lifestyle and their ownership of the transvestite club downstairs when the fiancée and her parents come for dinner.

Now Where Did the Seventh Company Get to?(fr)

1940: During the chaotic running fights of the French army the 7th company disappears - nobody knows they've been taken captive. Only their scouting patrol, three witty but lazy guys, can escape and now wanders around behind the German lines. They'd like to just stay out the fights, but a Lieutenant urges them to use a captured truck to break through to their troops.

A Gang Story(fr)

After growing up in a poor gypsy camp, Edmond Vidal, aka Momon, has retained a sense of family, unfailing loyalty and pride in his origins. Most of all, he has remained friends with Serge Suttel, with whom he first discovered prison life - for stealing cherries. The two of them inevitably got involved in organized crime. The team they formed, the Ganf Des Lyonnais, made them the most notorious armed robbers of the early 1970s. Their irresistible rise ended in 1974 with a spectacular arrest. Today, as he nears 60, Momon would like to forget that part of his life. He has found peace by retiring from the "business". He tends to his wife Janou, who suffered so in the past, and to his children and grandchildren, all of whom have great respect for this man of simple and universal values, so clear-headed and full of kindness. But then Serge Suttel, who has disowned nothing of his past, comes back into the picture.

Ruby & Quentin(fr)

After hiding his loot and getting thrown in jail, brooding outlaw Ruby befriends Quentin, a dim-witted and garrulous giant. After Quentin botches a solo escape attempt, they make a break together. Unable to shake the clumsy Quentin, Ruby is forced to take him along as he pursues his former partners in crime to avenge the death of the woman he loved and get to the money.