Smirnof the Wizard
Hymen Torn
A bawdy burlesque version of the famous fairy tale, Geppeta is a frustrated and nubile young virgin. She carves Pinocchio as a gorgeous young hunk. Geppeta's fairy godmother magically transforms the young stud into a living man, who is quickly brought to work in the local whorehouse as a prize stud and exhibitionist.
A woman, raised by an Amazon tribe after they killed her parents, seeks revenge on the tribe for their deaths by joining an expedition looking for the tribe's secret golden temple.
An impotent salaryman learns a psychic technique from his boss that can put women under his control. He practices a lot.
Toranaga is a good-for-nothing loser. However, he also happens to be the last remaining direct descendant of Shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu. When a mysterious ninja threatens Toranaga’s life, the great ninja Hattori Hanzo is hired to protect him. However, it seems that there are a bunch of female ninjas aching to have sex with Toranaga and take his sperm! Now Hanzo must fight for Toranaga’s most precious possession against the leader of the ninjas, Neneko, who bears a centuries-old grudge.
The simple story has the pair coming to the rescue of peace-loving Mormons when land-hungry Major Harriman sends his bullies to harass them into giving up their fertile valley. Trinity and Bambino manage to save the Mormons and send the bad guys packing with slapstick humor instead of excessive violence, saving the day.
The team behind Scary Movie takes on the comic book genre in this tale of Rick Riker, a nerdy teen imbued with superpowers by a radioactive dragonfly. And because every hero needs a nemesis, enter Lou Landers, aka the villainously goofy Hourglass.
A comedy about a family of old-fashioned samurai living in modern-day Tokyo whose young son has to head out for an important date.
A movie that starts out with the "Man in the Mirror" music video, it then changes to a montage of video clips of Michael's career. Next comes a parody of his Bad video by children, and then Michael is chased by fans in a fantasy sequence. 2 more videos are shown, and then a movie in which Michael plays a hero with magical powers. In it he is chased by drug dealer Mr. Big and saves three children. Videos included in the movie are "Smooth Criminal" and "Come Together".
An Afro-American organization, the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D., is in permanent fight against a white organization "The Man" defending the values of the black people in North America. When the Afro-American candidate Gen. Warren Boutwell behaves strangely in his presidential campaign, Undercover Brother is hired to work undercover for "The Man" and find what happened with the potential candidate.
Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning begins with Captain James B. Pirk of the starship Kickstart shipwrecked on the 21st century Earth with his crew. Originally from the distant future, Pirk and his crew traveled back in time to save the Earth from hostile aliens, but lost their ship and became stranded. Pirk's daily routine consists mainly of stuffing his face at the local fast food restaurant, and he is finding it difficult to convince the ladies he is, in fact, an intergalactic space hero from the future. As the prospects for humanity's conquest of space look increasingly bleaker, Pirk comes up with a questionable plan to save mankind's future...
Madeleine, rendered mute after being sexually assaulted as a youth, accepts a lift from a wealthy and sadistic pimp who soon enslaves her into his prostitution racket. Despite her limited means, Madeleine embarks on a bloody road to revenge against her captors.
A cynical anti-American Hollywood filmmaker sets out on a crusade to abolish the 4th of July holiday. He is visited by three spirits who take him on a hilarious journey in an attempt to show him the true meaning of America.
Set in the near future, Pokemon battles have been outlawed and forced underground where they resemble dog fights. Crime Syndicate, Team Rocket threatens Misty and Professor Oak forcing Ash to throw a match. After doing so, Ash changes his mind and all out Pokewar between Ash and Team Rocket begins.
Aussie Danger is the host of a survivalist and nature docuseries. He finally catches what he believes to be his big break involving America's greatest cryptid, Bigfoot.
A writer recalls her idea for an erotic story over the phone to an unseen man. Four mountain bikers are stranded in the desert due to mechanical difficulty and all recall and are inspired by the story of a wild woman who was found living out in the desert.
Topper Harley is found to be working as an odd-job-man in a monastery. The CIA want him to lead a rescue mission into Iraq, to rescue the last rescue team, who went in to rescue the last rescue team—who went in to rescue hostages left behind after Desert Storm.
When Edward, Peter, Lucy and Susan each follow their own path, they end up finding themselves at Willy's Chocolate factory. Walking through a wardrobe, they discover the world of Gnarnia, which is ruled by the White Bitch. Meeting up with characters such as Harry Potter and Captain Jack Swallows, the newly reunited family must team up with Aslo, a wise-but-horny lion to stop the white bitch's army.
A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.
The gang that created Airplane and The Naked Gun sets its sights on Top Gun in this often hilarious spoof starring Charlie Sheen, who previously only inspired laughs with his personal life. He plays Topper Harley, a fighter pilot with an ax to grind: clearing the family name. He gets involved in a relationship with Valerie Golino, a woman with an unusually talented stomach. But his mission is to avenge his father. Lloyd Bridges, late in his career, revealed an aptitude for this kind of silliness, here as a commander who is both incredibly dim and delightfully accident prone. Directed by Jim Abrahams, the film makes fun of a variety of other films as well, from Dances with Wolves to The Fabulous Baker Boys. It was so successful that they all returned in the sequel, Hot Shots! Part Deux.
Although he hates dogs, Toni is engaged in finding lost animals and then sentimentally blackmails the masters in order to obtain beautiful large amounts of money. Because of an old and ugly Pekinese that Toni cannot succeed of getting rid of, feelings of affection awake in him that surprise even Toni.
A kind man of European royal lineage struggles against dark visions of himself as a depraved demon, eventually coming to believe that he is that creature.
A British secret service agent tracks down a lunatic doctor whom has stolen the frozen body of a dormant cave woman from a determined archaeologist.
Stranded at a rest stop in the mountains during a blizzard, a recovering addict discovers a kidnapped child hidden in a car belonging to one of the people inside the building which sets her on a terrifying struggle to identify who among them is the kidnapper.
Newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane is taken from his mother as a boy and made the ward of a rich industrialist. As a result, every well-meaning, tyrannical or self-destructive move he makes for the rest of his life appears in some way to be a reaction to that deeply wounding event.
Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family's overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter's interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.
In the smog-choked dystopian Los Angeles of 2019, blade runner Rick Deckard is called out of retirement to terminate a quartet of replicants who have escaped to Earth seeking their creator for a way to extend their short life spans.
Spanning the years 1945 to 1955, a chronicle of the fictional Italian-American Corleone crime family. When organized crime family patriarch, Vito Corleone barely survives an attempt on his life, his youngest son, Michael steps in to take care of the would-be killers, launching a campaign of bloody revenge.
A disk jockey goes to Vietnam to work for the Armed Forces Radio Service. While he becomes popular among the troops, his superiors disapprove of his humour.
After seven months have passed without a culprit in her daughter's murder case, Mildred Hayes makes a bold move, painting three signs leading into her town with a controversial message directed at Bill Willoughby, the town's revered chief of police. When his second-in-command Officer Jason Dixon, an immature mother's boy with a penchant for violence, gets involved, the battle between Mildred and Ebbing's law enforcement is only exacerbated.
A wealthy New York investment banking executive hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he escalates deeper into his illogical, gratuitous fantasies.
A young girl, Chihiro, becomes trapped in a strange new world of spirits. When her parents undergo a mysterious transformation, she must call upon the courage she never knew she had to free her family.
In the not so distant future, Theodore, a lonely writer, purchases a newly developed operating system designed to meet the user's every need. To Theodore's surprise, a romantic relationship develops between him and his operating system. This unconventional love story blends science fiction and romance in a sweet tale that explores the nature of love and the ways that technology isolates and connects us all.
A couple's relationship is tested when uninvited guests arrive at their home, disrupting their tranquil existence.
All unemployed, Ki-taek's family takes peculiar interest in the wealthy and glamorous Parks for their livelihood until they get entangled in an unexpected incident.
An FBI agent teams with the town's veteran game tracker to investigate a murder that occurred on a Native American reservation.
Jack Sparrow, a freewheeling 18th-century pirate, quarrels with a rival pirate bent on pillaging Port Royal. When the governor's daughter is kidnapped, Sparrow decides to help the girl's love save her.
A chaotic Bridget Jones meets a snobbish lawyer, and he soon enters her world of imperfections.
A mentally unstable Vietnam War veteran works as a night-time taxi driver in New York City where the perceived decadence and sleaze feed his urge for violent action.
Leonard Shelby is tracking down the man who raped and murdered his wife. The difficulty of locating his wife's killer, however, is compounded by the fact that he suffers from a rare, untreatable form of short-term memory loss. Although he can recall details of life before his accident, Leonard cannot remember what happened fifteen minutes ago, where he's going, or why.