Captain Laid
Heston
Jompa Tormann is back, and everything is better, except the humor, which is even worse than in the first movie of vengeance.
Concetta Li Cause, deprived of her husband Oreste by the Mafia, is coveted by Bologna Marcello and Charles postman. Besides the two, there are other suitors because the widow is rich; but Cosa Nostra deploys its resources to prevent the woman from finding a new partner.
A group of former Encyclopedia Brown-style child-detectives struggle to solve an adult mystery.
A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film ever. After ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.
The adventures of two amiably aimless metal-head friends, Wayne and Garth. From Wayne's basement, the pair broadcast a talk-show called "Wayne's World" on local public access television. The show comes to the attention of a sleazy network executive who wants to produce a big-budget version of "Wayne's World"—and he also wants Wayne's girlfriend, a rock singer named Cassandra. Wayne and Garth have to battle the executive not only to save their show, but also Cassandra.
A devout Mormon living in L.A. becomes a pornographic actor after his martial arts moves impress a big-time director.
A writer taking a rest in a country hotel is obsessed with a strange woman in the same hotel. The woman seems to observe him in provocative ways, but he does not dare to approach her. One day he follows her to her room and listens to strange “erotic” sounds from inside, and begins to have erotic thoughts.
In this horror parody, a masked serial killer menaces the town of Bulimia Falls with various sharp objects. Attention-seeking television personality Hagitha Utslay is soon on the scene, reporting on the ever-growing body count. Former mall security guard Doughy shows up to protect the teenage population, but he's clearly not much help, allowing the murderer to pick off even more hapless kids as numerous scary movies are referenced.
The luxury liner Titanic 2000 has set sail on its maiden voyage, and one of the passengers is the vampire Vladamina. Vladamina is searching for a woman she can turn into a vampire queen, and frustrated rock groupie Shari looks to be a perfect target. As various people get seduced and/or killed as the liner continues on its doomed voyage, Shari must chose between eternity as a living dead sex slave or a frigid grave at the bottom of the ocean.
While the original parodied slasher flicks like Scream, Keenen Ivory Wayans's sequel to Scary Movie takes comedic aim at haunted house movies. A group of students visit a mansion called "Hell House," and murderous high jinks ensue.
Kitty and Stud are lovers. They enjoy a robust sex-life, which includes fellatio and light S&M, specifically, Stud belt-whipping Kitty. Three women come over for a party and Stud services them, one after the other.
In the third installment of the Scary Movie franchise, news anchorwoman Cindy Campbell has to investigate mysterious crop circles and killing video tapes, and help the President stop an alien invasion in the process.
Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.
Home with their newly-formed family, happy parents Dan and Jody are haunted by sinister, paranormal activities. Determined to expel the insidious force, they install security cameras and discover their family is being stalked by an evil dead demon.
Crooked cop Torrente gets out of jail in the year 2018 to find a different Spain from the one he knew.
In this S.W.A.G. Halloween special, Marcus and his new partner Jake Goodman investigate a prime suspect's home and uncover a sinister secret.
The Dynamic Duo faces four super-villains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people.
John Cleese is hilarious as the descendant of Sherlock Holmes in this modern detective drama of international power politics and intrigue. Unlike his illustrious grandfather however, he only succeeds in bungling every job he organizes. Also stars Arthur Lowe as the "bionic" grandson of Dr. Watson, Stratford Johns as the Commissioner of Police, and Connie Booth as Mrs. Hudson.
A newly arrived guest of a Hollywood hotel charms and amazes the regulars, and they decide to invite him to their Christmas dinner.
Two dubious characters disguise themselves as Holmes and Watson to gain attention and end up chasing counterfeiters and stolen stamps.
During a stopover in Germany in the middle of a carefree road trip through Europe, two American girls find themselves alone at night when their car breaks down in the woods. Searching for help at a nearby villa, they are wooed into the clutches of a deranged retired surgeon, who has a very disturbed vision.
Lacking experience to write her research paper on sexual behavior, a 22-year old college student responds to personal ads to broaden her erotic horizons.
Bourne is brought out of hiding once again by reporter Simon Ross who is trying to unveil Operation Blackbriar, an upgrade to Project Treadstone, in a series of newspaper columns. Information from the reporter stirs a new set of memories, and Bourne must finally uncover his dark past while dodging The Company's best efforts to eradicate him.
Loosely based on the true-life tale of Ron Woodroof, a drug-taking, women-loving, homophobic man who in 1986 was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and given thirty days to live.
At a tiny Parisian café, the adorable yet painfully shy Amélie accidentally discovers a gift for helping others. Soon Amelie is spending her days as a matchmaker, guardian angel, and all-around do-gooder. But when she bumps into a handsome stranger, will she find the courage to become the star of her very own love story?
Chuck Nolan, a top international manager for FedEx, and Kelly, a Ph.D. student, are in love and heading towards marriage. Then Chuck's plane to Malaysia crashes at sea during a terrible storm. He's the only survivor, and finds himself marooned on a desolate island. With no way to escape, Chuck must find ways to survive in his new home.
Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, Moonrise Kingdom tells the story of two twelve-year-olds who fall in love, make a secret pact, and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore – and the peaceful island community is turned upside down in more ways than anyone can handle.
Singer Freddie Mercury, guitarist Brian May, drummer Roger Taylor and bass guitarist John Deacon take the music world by storm when they form the rock 'n' roll band Queen in 1970. Hit songs become instant classics. When Mercury's increasingly wild lifestyle starts to spiral out of control, Queen soon faces its greatest challenge yet – finding a way to keep the band together amid the success and excess.
A botched robbery indicates a police informant, and the pressure mounts in the aftermath at a warehouse. Crime begets violence as the survivors -- veteran Mr. White, newcomer Mr. Orange, psychopathic parolee Mr. Blonde, bickering weasel Mr. Pink and Nice Guy Eddie -- unravel.
Alice, now 19 years old, returns to the whimsical world she first entered as a child and embarks on a journey to discover her true destiny.
When three friends finally come to after a raucous night of bachelor-party revelry, they find a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. But they can't seem to locate their best friend, Doug – who's supposed to be tying the knot. Launching a frantic search for Doug, the trio perseveres through a nasty hangover to try to make it to the church on time.
Cab driver Max picks up a man who offers him $600 to drive him around. But the promise of easy money sours when Max realizes his fare is an assassin.
From the heights of notoriety to the depths of depravity, John Forbes Nash Jr. experiences it all. As a brilliant but socially awkward mathematician, he made a groundbreaking discovery early in his career and stands on the brink of international acclaim. But as the handsome and arrogant Nash accepts secret work in cryptography, he becomes entangled in a mysterious conspiracy. His life takes a nightmarish turn and he soon finds himself on a painful and harrowing journey of self-discovery.
Teenagers in a small town are dropping like flies, apparently in the grip of mass hysteria causing their suicides. A cop's daughter, Nancy Thompson, traces the cause to child molester Fred Krueger, who was burned alive by angry parents many years before. Krueger has now come back in the dreams of his killers' children, claiming their lives as his revenge. Nancy and her boyfriend, Glen, must devise a plan to lure the monster out of the realm of nightmares and into the real world...
A touching story of an Italian book seller of Jewish ancestry who lives in his own little fairy tale. His creative and happy life would come to an abrupt halt when his entire family is deported to a concentration camp during World War II. While locked up he tries to convince his son that the whole thing is just a game.
Living with her tyrannical stepfather in a new home with her pregnant mother, 10-year-old Ofelia feels alone until she explores a decaying labyrinth guarded by a mysterious faun who claims to know her destiny. If she wishes to return to her real father, Ofelia must complete three terrifying tasks.
New York comedian Alvy Singer falls in love with the ditsy Annie Hall.
Former FBI Agent Will Graham, who was once almost killed by the savage Hannibal 'The Cannibal' Lecter, now has no choice but to face him again, as it seems Lecter is the only one who can help Graham track down a new serial killer.
When 9 first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good.
Alexander, the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians, he leads his army across the then known world, venturing farther than any westerner had ever gone, all the way to India.