Captain Laid
Heston
Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.
Cheese-loving eccentric Wallace and his cunning canine pal, Gromit, investigate a mystery in Nick Park's animated adventure, in which the lovable inventor and his intrepid pup run a business ridding the town of garden pests. Using only humane methods that turn their home into a halfway house for evicted vermin, the pair stumble upon a mystery involving a voracious vegetarian monster that threatens to ruin the annual veggie-growing contest.
A fleet of Martian spacecraft surrounds the world's major cities and all of humanity waits to see if the extraterrestrial visitors have, as they claim, "come in peace." U.S. President James Dale receives assurance from science professor Donald Kessler that the Martians' mission is a friendly one. But when a peaceful exchange ends in the total annihilation of the U.S. Congress, military men call for a full-scale nuclear retaliation.
The beautiful Agent 00 is sent by the girlfriend of a mafia boss to catch his band of miscreants.
In an erotic version of famous fairy tales, Snow White (Marie Liljedahl), Sleeping Beauty (Gaby Fuchs) and Cinderella (Eva Reuber-Staier) have sexy fun.
A pseudo-documentary about the processes involved in putting together and casting actors and actresses for a porn film. Although several actual porn stars are in the film, it is not a porn film itself.
Rod Steele (aka Agent 0014) is anything but the world's greatest super spy, but when diabolical villainess Tangerina threatens the world again, he's the world's last and only hope.
Brain freeze has never been so bad once you’ve tasted Ale Cream, as four friends inadvertently eat some radioactive ice-cream, turning them into zombies. Only problem is they don’t see themselves as the undead, but as super soldiers.
Two teams have been assembled and taken to a remote island to compete in a series of tasks to determine the winner of Erotic Survivor. The Hey-Hu-Nanni tribe against the all lesbian Pu-Nanni tribe.
A man is in bed reading Sci-Fi mags, and his wife seduces him. He then falls asleep, and the rest is his dream. He is from an alternate world, and disguises himself as an alien, then boards their ship, to keep them from attacking his planet. The captain is a woman, who has two lesbian encounters with her crew, and whips one of them for trying to have sex with our hero. All of the women are anxious to seduce our hero, as the other two men on the ship are not very exciting. Our hero forces a landing on an asetroid (actually the outskirts of Palmdale, California) and everyone runs around topless and has sex. He then blows up the alien ship in the worst special effects explosion.
This is the tragicomic story of two lovers who cannot ever get together.
Carry On favourite Barbara Windsor makes her debut in this outrageous send-up of the James Bond movies. Fearless agent Desmond Simpkins and Charlie Bind, aided and abetted by the comely Agent Honeybutt and Agent Crump, battle against the evil powers of international bad guys STENCH and their three cronies.
Extraterrestrial beings travel the galaxy to free men "oppressed" by females to make way for an entirely-homosexual society.
Galaxina is a lifelike, voluptuous android who is assigned to oversee the operations of an intergalactic Space Police cruiser captained by incompetent Cornelius Butt. When a mission requires the ship's crew to be placed in suspended animation for decades, Galaxina finds herself alone for many years, developing emotions and falling in love with the ship's pilot, Thor.
Frede Hansen, a game salesman, is mistaken for a secret service agent on a ferry and kidnapped by enemy agents. He escapes and now the secret service want to use him as bait to track the enemy. They assign their best agent, Smith to be his partner and supervisor. Their main task is to eliminate the head of the enemy conspiracy, the mysterious 'Dr. Pax' who's real identity is unknown. Freddy accompanies Smith to Stockholm where they are to meet Sonja, an agent for Dr. Pax, who is also on Smith's liquidation list. Thanks to his bag of game tricks, Freddy manages to avoid being done in by Kolick, a killer for Dr. Pax. Freddy falls for Sonja, and he, she and Smith are taken as prisoners to Dr. Pax's hideout, a remote island fortress from which a major power is to be attacked by missiles guided by trained pigeons. Freddy manages to teach Dr. Pax a lasting lesson in the difference between trained pigeons and homing pigeons.
Juan López must balance an office job with heroic feats to save the love of his life and native planet Chitón.
Large doses of humor, ingenious nods to Spain's most recent national cinema, an artistic cast highly linked to comedy and a high reserve of surprises constitute the ingredients of this crazy comedy: Spanish Movie.
At the remote and hidden Shaolinji temple, Miyoko, also known as Shaolin Grandma , has practiced martial arts fighting techniques there for many years. When she is badly defeated by Ippon-ashi, her young and attractive rival, Miyoko is thrown out of the temple. Loosing her identity, Miyoko and her two Shaolinji apprentice misfits drift to an urban town.
Leaving their hometown of Fulchester in the North of England, Sandra and Tracey head for the bright lights of London, shagging and boozing their way to fame and fortune.
During a stopover in Germany in the middle of a carefree road trip through Europe, two American girls find themselves alone at night when their car breaks down in the woods. Searching for help at a nearby villa, they are wooed into the clutches of a deranged retired surgeon, who has a very disturbed vision.
Lacking experience to write her research paper on sexual behavior, a 22-year old college student responds to personal ads to broaden her erotic horizons.
Bourne is brought out of hiding once again by reporter Simon Ross who is trying to unveil Operation Blackbriar, an upgrade to Project Treadstone, in a series of newspaper columns. Information from the reporter stirs a new set of memories, and Bourne must finally uncover his dark past while dodging The Company's best efforts to eradicate him.
Loosely based on the true-life tale of Ron Woodroof, a drug-taking, women-loving, homophobic man who in 1986 was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and given thirty days to live.
At a tiny Parisian café, the adorable yet painfully shy Amélie accidentally discovers a gift for helping others. Soon Amelie is spending her days as a matchmaker, guardian angel, and all-around do-gooder. But when she bumps into a handsome stranger, will she find the courage to become the star of her very own love story?
Chuck Nolan, a top international manager for FedEx, and Kelly, a Ph.D. student, are in love and heading towards marriage. Then Chuck's plane to Malaysia crashes at sea during a terrible storm. He's the only survivor, and finds himself marooned on a desolate island. With no way to escape, Chuck must find ways to survive in his new home.
Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, Moonrise Kingdom tells the story of two twelve-year-olds who fall in love, make a secret pact, and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore – and the peaceful island community is turned upside down in more ways than anyone can handle.
Singer Freddie Mercury, guitarist Brian May, drummer Roger Taylor and bass guitarist John Deacon take the music world by storm when they form the rock 'n' roll band Queen in 1970. Hit songs become instant classics. When Mercury's increasingly wild lifestyle starts to spiral out of control, Queen soon faces its greatest challenge yet – finding a way to keep the band together amid the success and excess.
A botched robbery indicates a police informant, and the pressure mounts in the aftermath at a warehouse. Crime begets violence as the survivors -- veteran Mr. White, newcomer Mr. Orange, psychopathic parolee Mr. Blonde, bickering weasel Mr. Pink and Nice Guy Eddie -- unravel.
Alice, now 19 years old, returns to the whimsical world she first entered as a child and embarks on a journey to discover her true destiny.
When three friends finally come to after a raucous night of bachelor-party revelry, they find a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom. But they can't seem to locate their best friend, Doug – who's supposed to be tying the knot. Launching a frantic search for Doug, the trio perseveres through a nasty hangover to try to make it to the church on time.
Cab driver Max picks up a man who offers him $600 to drive him around. But the promise of easy money sours when Max realizes his fare is an assassin.
Brilliant mathematician, John Nash, is on the brink of international acclaim when he becomes entangled in a mysterious conspiracy.
Teenagers in a small town are dropping like flies, apparently in the grip of mass hysteria causing their suicides. A cop's daughter, Nancy Thompson, traces the cause to child molester Fred Krueger, who was burned alive by angry parents many years before. Krueger has now come back in the dreams of his killers' children, claiming their lives as his revenge. Nancy and her boyfriend, Glen, must devise a plan to lure the monster out of the realm of nightmares and into the real world...
A touching story of an Italian book seller of Jewish ancestry who lives in his own little fairy tale. His creative and happy life would come to an abrupt halt when his entire family is deported to a concentration camp during World War II. While locked up he tries to convince his son that the whole thing is just a game.
Living with her tyrannical stepfather in a new home with her pregnant mother, 10-year-old Ofelia feels alone until she explores a decaying labyrinth guarded by a mysterious faun who claims to know her destiny. If she wishes to return to her real father, Ofelia must complete three terrifying tasks.
New York comedian Alvy Singer falls in love with the ditsy Annie Hall.
Former FBI Agent Will Graham, who was once almost killed by the savage Hannibal 'The Cannibal' Lecter, now has no choice but to face him again, as it seems Lecter is the only one who can help Graham track down a new serial killer.
When 9 first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good.
Alexander, the King of Macedonia, leads his legions against the giant Persian Empire. After defeating the Persians, he leads his army across the then known world, venturing farther than any westerner had ever gone, all the way to India.