Ah, Christmas. That magical time of year when Santa travels all over the universe by means of the fifth dimension, (which his close friend Merlin invented in a floating space castle), delivering toys that were made by a skunk in a factory overseen by a wolf in a village whose head of security, Puss in Boots, occasionally has to fend off giant ogres. A story so familiar and comforting, it’s like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket. By which we mean it’s so insane and twisted, it makes the Ice Cream Bunny look like Tiny Tim Cratchit. Christmas with RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness is three shorts from the mad mind of K. Gordon Murray, who brought you the MST3K episode Santa Claus. Featuring shorts Santa's Enchanted Village, Santa Claus and His Helpers, and Santa's Magic Kingdom.
2012-12-21
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Christmas with Rifftrax
5.4A desperate man and two romantic rivals encounter one another at a Christmas party.
Mimicking the hyperbolic rhetoric of today’s copyright cops, Hollywood Burn pits a righteous league of video pirates against the evil tyrant Moses and his Copyright Commandments. Determined to alter the present by changing the past, the pirates travel back to 1955 to construct the ultimate weapon: an Elvis Presley video-clone. Part sci-fi + rom com + biblical epic + action movie, this free-culture manifesto adopts the tactical responses of the parasite, feeding off the body of Hollywood and inhabiting its cinematic structures and codes. The unwitting all-star cast includes Elvis Presley, Charlton Heston, Monkey, Batman, Bette Davis, Jaws, Jesus, The Hulk, The Hoff and the Ghostbusters.
6.5A cat burglar is forced to take a bickering, dysfunctional family hostage on Christmas Eve.
6.1A zombie apocalypse threatens the sleepy town of Little Haven—at Christmas—forcing Anna and her friends to fight, slash, and sing their way to survival. In a desperate race to reach their loved ones, they soon learn that no one is safe in this new world, and with civilization falling apart around them, the only people they can truly rely on are each other.
5.8A gang of thieves calling themselves the Santa Claus Gang are wreaking havoc, and the police can't keep up. Police Captain Gilbert is distracted by a Chinese reporter writing a story on his squad, and taxi driver Daniel is in the midst of a relationship crisis. After a string of mistakes in which the thieves outsmart the police time and time again, Daniel and his super-taxi pitch in.
5.9A holiday-hating detective is forced to solve a murder — and save Christmas — with help from famous trainees who must improv their way through the case.
6.5Kate Pierce is reluctantly spending Christmas with her mom’s new boyfriend and his son Jack. But when the North Pole and Christmas are threatened to be destroyed, Kate and Jack are unexpectedly pulled into a new adventure with Santa Claus.
0.0THE AGFA MYSTERY MIXTAPE VAULT is a 2-disc, 500-minute odyssey that collects eight feature-length VHS mixtapes from the crackpots at AGFA—including two that have only ever been available theatrically.
5.0Walt Disney's beloved feathered character has captured the hearts of fans of all ages with his unique voice, quirky quirks and hilarious antics. Experience some of Donald's most memorable moments in 10 classic short films, including Chef Donald and Donald's cousin Gijs! From his big screen debut in The Wise Little Chicken to his hilarious attempts to start his own business in In a Nutshell and The Hand Washer to his extravagant DIY projects in Chef Donald and more, Donald Duck will have you make you croak with laughter.
4.9Twenty-five films from twenty-five European countries by twenty-five European directors.
6.0Better watch out! The big guy in red is coming to town once again. This time, Scott Calvin -- also known as Santa Claus -- finds out there's an obscure clause in his contract requiring him to take on a wife. He has to leave the North Pole to fulfill his obligations, or else he'll be forced to give up his Yuletide gig.
7.2A collection of Monty Python's Flying Circus skits from the first two seasons of their British TV series.
6.1Howard Langston, a salesman for a mattress company, is constantly kept busy at his job, disappointing his son. After he misses his son's karate exposition, Howard vows to make it up to him by buying an action figure of his son's favorite television hero for Christmas. Unfortunately for Howard, it is Christmas Eve, and every store is sold out of Turbo Man. Now, Howard must travel all over town and compete with everybody else to find a Turbo Man action figure.
6.8The Grinch decides to rob Whoville of Christmas - but a dash of kindness from little Cindy Lou Who and her family may be enough to melt his heart...
5.7When the delivery of presents goes wrong and Grandpa Noël gets in trouble, siblings Jules and Noor must work together to save Christmas.
10.0In the futuristic world of 2004, Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t just doing leg splits, he’s splitting the very barriers of space and time. Get ready for TIMECOP! Yes, it’s one word! After the death of his wife (Mia Sara) at the hands of time-traveling goons, Jean-Claude Van Damme is recruited to an elite task force of time-based police officers. Why does the government have an elite task force of time-based police officers? TIMECOP may, or may not, have answers to that perfectly reasonable question! Unfortunately, a U.S. Senator (Ron Silver) has gained access to their system of time travel and he’s using it to commit unspeakable evils – huge campaign finance violations – across generations. Imagine a nightmarish world where stuff like THAT happens. You can’t! Will the Timecops stop the senator in time to save the future?
0.0Gonzo hosts this collection of some of the weirdest moments from The Muppet Show at his trailer home, assisted by Camilia and visited by Kermit The Frog.
5.5Santa Claus is actually a demon who lost a bet with an angel, so he became the giver of toys and happiness. But this year the bet is off, and Santa is about to return to his evil ways.
0.0A gingerbread comes to life, enacting revenge for his fallen brother.
5.6Now that Santa and Mrs. Claus have the North Pole running smoothly, the Counsel of Legendary Figures has called an emergency meeting on Christmas Eve! The evil Jack Frost has been making trouble, looking to take over the holiday! So he launches a plan to sabotage the toy factory and compel Scott to invoke the little-known Escape Clause and wish he'd never become Santa.