
A lazy painter learns that great art comes from pain as his life is ruined by a ninja.
extra (theater patron)
Sharon
Nick
Martha Russell

A lazy painter learns that great art comes from pain as his life is ruined by a ninja.
2008-01-01
2
Ninjas, Zombies, Fine Art
5.9On an ordinary night, in an ordinary part of town, a beautiful young woman walks into a bar. Her name is Jewel, and before long she is chatting to bartender Randy. The pair leave together, but he ends up getting into a tussle with her criminal boyfriend, who she then shoots dead, later persuading Randy to take the rap for her. But this isn't the end of it, as both Randy's cousin Carl and the detective assigned to the murder case also fall for Jewel's charms and find themselves caught up in the ensuing events. It seems that any man who meets Jewel falls instantly in love with her, and she's going to use this fully to her own advantage, leaving a trail of havoc in her wake. It also seems that she is going to get away with it - that is, until Randy decides to hire a hitman...
7.3Eddie Murphy delights, shocks and entertains with dead-on celebrity impersonations, observations on '80s love, sex and marriage, a remembrance of Mom's hamburgers and much more.
6.8Offensive lines. Full-contact comedy. Kevin Hart hosts this all-star roast of NFL legend Tom Brady.
6.1While doing the inventory for a lingerie outlet in a high rise office building, five attractive women are terrorized by a series of bizarre killings. They suspect that the strange janitor, who witnessed another series of killings years back, is at the bottom of the whole thing. Little do they know the real horror that they face in the end.
5.9With his family away, a devoted stay-at-home dad enjoys his first me time in years by joining his hard-partying old friend on a wild birthday adventure.
6.7Mary and her friend, Rachel, are new students at St. Francis Academy, a boarding school run by the iron fist of Mother Superior. The immature teens grow bored and begin playing pranks on both the unsuspecting nuns and their unpleasant classmates, becoming a constant thorn in Mother Superior's side. However, as the years pass, Mary and Rachel slowly mature and begin to see the nuns in a different light.
6.3When the Little Rascals are unable to raise enough money to save their grandma's bakery from shutting down, their only hope is to win a local talent show and use the prize money to save the shop.
7.5A 1983 stand-up comedy film featuring the comedy of Bill Cosby. Filmed before a live audience at the Hamilton Place Theatre, in Hamilton, Ontario. Cosby gives his comedic views on people who drink too much and take drugs, going to the dentist, marriage and parenthood.
5.8What should have been a romantic getaway turns into one hilarious debacle after another when Michael's woman dumps him in the desert where he gets carjacked by a teenager and he is taken hostage in a stickup at the local Sip and Zip.
6.2Jerry Seinfeld takes the stage in New York and tackles talking vs. texting, bad buffets vs. so-called "great" restaurants and the magic of Pop Tarts.
6.3When former comedian Mark McCarthy is faced with a rare form of cancer, he hires a young, impressionable cameraman to document his crude and comical lessons on what it means to be a man for his unborn son.
6.7Fight everyone and trust no one: it's the code of survival practiced by martial-arts master Casey Bowman after his life of domestic bliss is shattered by a savage act of violence. Vowing revenge, the fearless American stealthily tracks the killer from Osaka to Bangkok to Rangoon with the help of a wise and crafty sensei. His only clues: a series of victims whose necks bear the distinctive mark of strangulation by barbed wire. Fighting to avenge as well as to survive, Casey must sharpen his razor-like responses and take his battle skills to the next level, even using deep meditation to fake his own death. His target: the sinister drug lord Goro, who is flooding the streets with deadly meth cooked at his remote jungle factory. To prepare for his ultimate confrontation, Casey must finally become an invisible warrior worthy of the name Ninja. But just when his prey is cornered, an unexpected twist shows Casey that his battle is only beginning: he truly can trust no one.
6.7Facing a world gone sideways, comedy icon Dave Chappelle delivers bold truths and potent punchlines in this no-holds-barred special.
6.2Batman and Nightwing are forced to team with the Joker's sometimes-girlfriend Harley Quinn to stop a global threat brought about by Poison Ivy and Jason Woodrue, the Floronic Man.
6.8A modern retelling of Shakespeare's classic comedy about two pairs of lovers with different takes on romance and a way with words.
6.3Stanley Ford leads an idyllic bachelor life. He is a nationally syndicated cartoonist whose Bash Brannigan series provides him with a luxury townhouse and a full-time valet, Charles. When he wakes up the morning after the night before - he had attended a friend's stag party - he finds that he is married to the very beautiful woman who popped out of the cake - and who doesn't speak a word of English. Despite his initial protestations, he comes to like married life and even changes his cartoon character from a super spy to a somewhat harried husband.
6.2This time, there's no wedding. No bachelor party. What could go wrong, right? But when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off.
6.0After a prank blows up a studious high school senior's life, he shares a list of certain things he wishes he'd done differently — and maybe still can.
6.8The Accident Man is back, and this time he must best the top assassins in the world to protect the ungrateful son of a mafia boss, save the life of his only friend and rekindle his relationship with his maniacal father figure.
5.9In this winsome comedy, an entitled Economics professor pursues a tactic to buy an ailing widow’s mansion for nothing, but he quickly realizes that his seemingly foolproof strategy won’t be as easy as he thought.
5.0Five lonesome cowboys get all hot and bothered at home on the range after confronting Ramona Alvarez and her nurse.
6.5After the death of her father, Little Voice or LV becomes a virtual recluse, never going out and hardly ever saying a word. She just sits in her bedroom listening to her father's collection of old records of Shirley Bassey, Marilyn Monroe and various other famous female singers. But at night time, LV sings, imitating these great singers with surprising accuracy. One night she is overheard by one of her mother's boyfriends, who happens to be a talent agent. He manages to convince her that her talent is special and arranges for her to perform at the local night club, but several problems arise.
3.9A man is reluctant to tell his fiancee that his parents, uncle and brother are dwarfs.
6.4Alice Tate, mother of two, with a marriage of 16 years, finds herself falling for a handsome sax player, Joe. Stricken with a backache, she consults herbalist Dr. Yang, who realizes that her problems are not related to her back, but in her mind and heart. Dr. Yang's magical herbs give Alice wondrous powers, taking her out of her well-established rut.
7.2A Taiwanese-American man is happily settled in New York with his American boyfriend. He plans a marriage of convenience to a Chinese woman in order to keep his parents off his back and to get the woman a green card. Chaos follows when his parents arrive in New York for the wedding.
6.8In the 1930s, jazz guitarist Emmet Ray idolizes Django Reinhardt, faces gangsters and falls in love with a mute woman.
5.5A gang of bank robbers with a suitcase full of money go to the desert to hide out. After burying the loot, they find their way to a surreal town full of cowboys who drink an awful lot of coffee.
5.2A top Hollywood talent agent finds his cushy existence threatened when he discovers that his wife is cheating on him and that his journal has been swiped by a reporter out to bring him down.
5.8Carolyn's sorority sisters set their sights on the Sorority of the Year award and coaching challenged athletes is their ticket to the trophy. But when the queen of formals finds herself mentoring Pumpkin, a disabled athlete, their two worlds collide.
5.1The brains of a Russian taxi driver and a wealthy businessman are brought together in one body by a mad scientist.
7.3Writer Harry Block draws inspiration from people he knows, and from events that happened to him, sometimes causing these people to become alienated from him as a result.
6.51984, Sandusky, Ohio. A naive 17-year-old navigates heartbreak and self-expression as he explores his sexuality.
A working-class girl and her trust-fund boyfriend move into a downtown New York tenement apartment to try to make a life together. Their volatile relationship is further complicated when they learn their angry downstairs neighbor is building an A-bomb in his apartment.
Pete is no stranger to success, delivering hit series as a musician in a rock group. When he parts ways with his band and produces his first solo LP, he learns for the first time what a flop means. He did not expect this. He is insecure and desperate, while Lena, his wife, accepts this low blow as a challenge. Jealously, Pete observes that Lena is becoming more and more independent and self-confident in her surroundings. At home there are arguments until everyone packs his bags. Alone with his longing and tenderness for Lena, Pete composes the "Bolero" on his white grand piano that calls her back.
0.0Things escalate when Waldomar finds the person who stole his jacket, while Adolf and Ingmar argue about whether Donald's father was dragged by a car or not.
5.5Three mischievous employees of a bank in a small deserted town all make plans to rob it at the same time, however none of them knows about the others.
4.6In search of kicks in Reykjavik in the year 2000, a pretty teenager, Stella, teams up with a handsome alcoholic, Robbi, and in a stolen car careers through Iceland with unexpected and bizarre consequences.
7.0A small Egyptian police band travels to Israel to play at the inaugural ceremony of an Arab arts center, only to find themselves stuck in the wrong town.
5.1Sandra Bernhard stars in a studio version of her off-Broadway show, blending re-enactments of the original show's pieces with concept vignettes and 'testimonials' to underscore the relationship between a performer and an audience.