The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Himself
Himself
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
2008-11-20
8.3
Winner of 7 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, The Wiz was a massive Broadway hit which spawned a dismal feature film starring Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. Executive Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have assembled a Tony-winning creative team, the imaginative Cirque du Soleil Theatrical and a diverse cast of showstoppers designed to create an eye-popping new take on the musical unlike anything ever seen.
In the not-too-distant future, the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest struggle to negotiate for their immortality. A poor young man who suddenly comes into a fortune of time finds himself on the run from a corrupt police force known as the "time keepers".
In the year 180, the death of emperor Marcus Aurelius throws the Roman Empire into chaos. Maximus is one of the Roman army's most capable and trusted generals and a key advisor to the emperor. As Marcus' devious son Commodus ascends to the throne, Maximus is set to be executed. He escapes, but is captured by slave traders. Renamed Spaniard and forced to become a gladiator, Maximus must battle to the death with other men for the amusement of paying audiences.
Though Kevin has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher, there remains one still submerged who is set to materialize and dominate all the others. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls led by the willful, observant Casey, Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him — as well as everyone around him — as the walls between his compartments shatter apart.
Video game experts are recruited by the military to fight 1980s-era video game characters who've attacked New York.
Caleb, a coder at the world's largest internet company, wins a competition to spend a week at a private mountain retreat belonging to Nathan, the reclusive CEO of the company. But when Caleb arrives at the remote location he finds that he will have to participate in a strange and fascinating experiment in which he must interact with the world's first true artificial intelligence, housed in the body of a beautiful robot girl.
Light years from Earth, 26 years after being abducted, Peter Quill finds himself the prime target of a manhunt after discovering an orb wanted by Ronan the Accuser.
During a manned mission to Mars, Astronaut Mark Watney is presumed dead after a fierce storm and left behind by his crew. But Watney has survived and finds himself stranded and alone on the hostile planet. With only meager supplies, he must draw upon his ingenuity, wit and spirit to subsist and find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive.
101-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story of her life aboard the Titanic, 84 years later. A young Rose boards the ship with her mother and fiancé. Meanwhile, Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets aboard the ship. Rose tells the whole story from Titanic's departure through to its death—on its first and last voyage—on April 15, 1912.
A couple with a newborn baby face unexpected difficulties after they are forced to live next to a fraternity house.
A rogue band of resistance fighters unite for a mission to steal the Death Star plans and bring a new hope to the galaxy.
Taking place after alien crafts land around the world, an expert linguist is recruited by the military to determine whether they come in peace or are a threat.
When 11-year-old Riley moves to a new city, her Emotions team up to help her through the transition. Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness work together, but when Joy and Sadness get lost, they must journey through unfamiliar places to get back home.
When an attack on the Kingsman headquarters takes place and a new villain rises, Eggsy and Merlin are forced to work together with the American agency known as the Statesman to save the world.
Frodo Baggins and the other members of the Fellowship continue on their sacred quest to destroy the One Ring--but on separate paths. Their destinies lie at two towers--Orthanc Tower in Isengard, where the corrupt wizard Saruman awaits, and Sauron's fortress at Barad-dur, deep within the dark lands of Mordor. Frodo and Sam are trekking to Mordor to destroy the One Ring of Power while Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn search for the orc-captured Merry and Pippin. All along, nefarious wizard Saruman awaits the Fellowship members at the Orthanc Tower in Isengard.
A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don't apply.
Four years after Jurassic Park's genetically bred dinosaurs ran amok, multimillionaire John Hammond shocks chaos theorist Ian Malcolm by revealing that he has been breeding more beasties at a secret location. Malcolm, his paleontologist ladylove and a wildlife videographer join an expedition to document the lethal lizards' natural behavior in this action-packed thriller.
A New York stockbroker refuses to cooperate in a large securities fraud case involving corruption on Wall Street, corporate banking world and mob infiltration. Based on Jordan Belfort's autobiography.
Keller Dover is facing every parent’s worst nightmare. His six-year-old daughter, Anna, is missing, together with her young friend, Joy, and as minutes turn to hours, panic sets in. The only lead is a dilapidated RV that had earlier been parked on their street.
Holly Grant has learned a long time ago not to rely on Santa Claus leaving Mr. Right in her Christmas stocking. But Holly is in for a surprise when a handsome man arrives on her doorstep with a twinkle in his eye and Yuletide tree in tow.
A TV movie special that compiles of a few Looney Tunes episodes centered around an episode of a Christmas Carol, with the part of Scrooge played by Yosemite Sam.
Santa has an accident at Fred's house on Christmas Eve, Fred and Barney have to continue his run for him.
Things seem pretty bad for a young girl living a "hard-knock life" in an orphanage. Fed up with the dastardly Miss Hannigan, Annie escapes the run-down orphanage determined to find her mom and dad. It's an adventure that takes her from the cold, mean streets of New York to the warm, comforting arms of bighearted billionaire Oliver Warbucks - with plenty of mischief and music in between.
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Ellen shares her humorous observations on daily life, including remembering names, clothing, the need for approval, and making personal videos in this post-coming-out performance, fully acknowledges Ellen DeGeneres's status as America's most famous lesbian.
A week before Christmas Liza McCann visit her estranged father who strangely lives in a town decked out for the holidays and is full of Christmas spirit. Strange events immediately occur when they arrive challenging everything Liza had once believed in.
When Santa Claus decides to retire and pass on his magic bag of Christmas surprises to a new Saint Nick, he enlists the aid of a hilarious assortment of characters. A perky teen runaway and hapless taxi driver Ernest P. Worrell must convince a skeptical kiddie-show host to take over the post of Father Christmas.
When the evil Krad steals Santa's toy bag, he crushes the holiday spirit- and over time, the world's children forget all about Christmas. Now, a wide-eyed orphan and her band of friends will embark on the polar adventure of a lifetime, as they try to stop Krad from destroying Christmas once and for all!
A pastry chef dreams of opening her own dessert shop; she is paired with another chef for a grand event during which they must learn from one another and eventually come together to create a menu in time for Christmas.
In this satirical twist on classic movie musicals, a young lady must choose between love and social pressure when her late fiancé requests her virginity from beyond the grave.
The LORDS of LAUGHTER--The SAINTS of SATIRE--The HIGH PRIESTS of LOW COMEDY--have sold out once again. Some say you can't take it with you. Others just refuse to go. Graham Chapman--doctor, tall actor, self-wrestler and really famous dead guy--is the latter. Chapman has a least 8 movie and TV appearances to his credit since he passed away in 1989 making him the most prolific corpse since Elvis. This DVD GRAHAM CHAPMAN'S PERSONAL BEST makes 9. In a comprehensive tribute written by the remaining members of the incomparable Monty Python's Flying Circus this program includes the sketches they believe Chapman would have called his very favorites. Of course they could be wrong.
The events of a crisis hotline business on one crazy night during the Christmas holidays.
Michael and Suzie are an engaged couple taking their honeymoon off the coast of Spain. Their reservations are lost and Michael loses their luggage and money to a scam artist promising to get them a room. Suzie berates him and Michael, disenchanted with his nagging wife-to-be, gives in to the temptations that are all around them. He falls in with a free-wheeling motorcycle gang. Eventually his lover leaves him (Hemingway-style) for a bullfighter, and he and Suzie, having found their wild and independent spirit on the island, come back together.
Linus and Lucy's younger brother Rerun wants a dog for Christmas, and Snoopy's brother Spike may be the answer.
A ne'er do well father and ex-husband who always raced his way through the holidays is forced to relive Christmas Day time and again until he gets it right in this family oriented fantasy comedy starring Jay Mohr. It's Christmas time once again, and as usual Kevin (Moore) is scrambling to get his son Ben a last minute gift before stopping by his ex-wife Jill's house for a quick swig of eggnog. Ben can't stand Jill's impossibly perfect new boyfriend, and the prospect of spending the entire evening with his former inlaws is nearly too painful to ponder. But this Christmas things are going to be different, because this Christmas might just last forever. At first Kevin resists the curious development by simply reverting to his childish ways, though he is about to find out that sometimes in order to build a better future one must finally make amends with the past. ~ Jason Buchanan
Big-hearted Goofy tries to go all out to give Max a great Christmas but as usual catastrophe follows Goofy's intentions. Excellent Christmas message of Family, Friends and Love conveyed.
The Herdmans – Gladys, Claude, Imogene, Leroy, Ollie and Ralph – are undeniably the worst kids in the history of the world. They lie, steal, cheat, bully and overall terrorize their small community. But this Christmas, they’re taking over their local church Pageant – and they just might unwittingly teach a shocked little town the true meaning of Christmas.
When Gonzo forgets to mail three letters to Santa, he convinces Kermit and the gang to help him deliver the notes to the North Pole. Along the way, they discover that Christmas is the time to be with those you care about most, as they dash home to make a friends Christmas wish come true.