
Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians(2008)
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Movie: Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
HomePage
Overview
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Release Date
2008-11-20
Average
8
Rating:
4.0 startsTagline
Genres
Languages:
EnglishKeywords
Recommendations Movies
7.0The Wiz Live!(en)
Winner of 7 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, The Wiz was a massive Broadway hit which spawned a dismal feature film starring Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. Executive Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have assembled a Tony-winning creative team, the imaginative Cirque du Soleil Theatrical and a diverse cast of showstoppers designed to create an eye-popping new take on the musical unlike anything ever seen.
7.3Titanic at 100: Mystery Solved(en)
As the 100th anniversary of Titanic's sinking approaches, a team of scientists, engineers, archaeologists and imaging experts have joined forces to answer one of the most haunting questions surrounding the legendary disaster: Just how did the "unsinkable" ship break apart and plunge into the icy waters of the North Atlantic? Written by History Channel
5.5The Circle(en)
A young tech worker takes a job at a powerful Internet corporation, quickly rises up the company's ranks, and soon finds herself in a perilous situation concerning privacy, surveillance and freedom. She comes to learn that her decisions and actions will determine the future of humanity.
7.5Toy Story 4(en)
Woody has always been confident about his place in the world and that his priority is taking care of his kid, whether that's Andy or Bonnie. But when Bonnie adds a reluctant new toy called "Forky" to her room, a road trip adventure alongside old and new friends will show Woody how big the world can be for a toy.
6.4A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding(en)
A year after Amber helped Richard secure the crown. The two are set to tie the knot in a royal Christmas wedding — but their plans are jeopardized when Amber finds herself second-guessing whether or not she's cut out to be queen, and Richard is faced with a political crisis that threatens to tarnish not only the holiday season but the future of the kingdom.
7.5Pretty Woman(en)
While on a business trip in Los Angeles, Edward Lewis, a millionaire entrepreneur who makes a living buying and breaking up companies, picks up a prostitute, Vivian, while asking for directions; after, Edward hires Vivian to stay with him for the weekend to accompany him to a few social events, and the two get closer only to discover there are significant hurdles to overcome as they try to bridge the gap between their very different worlds.
7.3Star Wars: The Force Awakens(en)
Thirty years after defeating the Galactic Empire, Han Solo and his allies face a new threat from the evil Kylo Ren and his army of Stormtroopers.
5.5Serenity(en)
The quiet life of Baker Dill, a fishing boat captain who lives on the isolated Plymouth Island, where he spends his days obsessed with capturing an elusive tuna while fighting his personal demons, is interrupted when someone from his past comes to him searching for help.
7.4Erin Brockovich(en)
A twice-divorced mother of three who sees an injustice, takes on the bad guy and wins -- with a little help from her push-up bra. Erin goes to work for an attorney and comes across medical records describing illnesses clustered in one nearby town. She starts investigating and soon exposes a monumental cover-up.
6.4Shrek Forever After(en)
A midlife-crisis burdened Shrek, longing for the days when he felt like a real ogre, makes a pact with magic deal-maker Rumpelstiltskin. But when he's duped and sent to a twisted version of Far Far Away—where Rumpelstiltskin is king, ogres are hunted, and he and Fiona have never met—he sets out to restore his world and reclaim his true love.
8.2Five Feet Apart(en)
Seventeen-year-old Stella spends most of her time in the hospital as a cystic fibrosis patient. Her life is full of routines, boundaries and self-control — all of which get put to the test when she meets Will, an impossibly charming teen who has the same illness. There's an instant flirtation, though restrictions dictate that they must maintain a safe distance between them. As their connection intensifies, so does the temptation to throw the rules out the window and embrace that attraction.
6.8Fractured(en)
Driving cross-country, Ray and his wife and daughter stop at a highway rest area where his daughter falls and breaks her arm. After a frantic rush to the hospital and a clash with the check-in nurse, Ray is finally able to get her to a doctor. While the wife and daughter go downstairs for an MRI, Ray, exhausted, passes out in a chair in the lobby. Upon waking up, they have no record or knowledge of Ray's family ever being checked in.
7.3Now You See Me(en)
An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money.
7.5The Suicide Squad(en)
Supervillains Harley Quinn, Bloodsport, Peacemaker and a collection of nutty cons at Belle Reve prison join the super-secret, super-shady Task Force X as they are dropped off at the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese.
7.4Nocturnal Animals(en)
Susan Morrow receives a book manuscript from her ex-husband – a man she left 20 years earlier – asking for her opinion of his writing. As she reads, she is drawn into the fictional life of Tony Hastings, a mathematics professor whose family vacation turns violent.
6.8Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV(ja)
The magical kingdom of Lucis is home to the world’s last remaining Crystal, and the menacing empire of Niflheim is determined to steal it. King Regis of Lucis commands an elite force of soldiers called the Kingsglaive. Wielding their king’s magic, they fight to protect Lucis. As the overwhelming military might of the empire bears down, King Regis is faced with an impossible ultimatum – to marry his son, Prince Noctis to Princess Lunafreya of Tenebrae, captive of Niflheim, and surrender his lands to Niflheim rule. Although the king concedes, it becomes clear that the empire will stop at nothing to achieve their devious goals, with only the Kingsglaive standing between them and world domination.
6.6Batman: The Killing Joke(en)
As Batman hunts for the escaped Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime attacks the Gordon family to prove a diabolical point mirroring his own fall into madness.
6.7The Good Dinosaur(en)
An epic journey into the world of dinosaurs where an Apatosaurus named Arlo makes an unlikely human friend.
Similar Movies
7.0Meet Me in St. Louis(en)
A year in the life of a turn-of-the-century middle class family, leading up to the opening of the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair.
7.1Gremlins(en)
After receiving an exotic small animal as a Christmas gift, a young man inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet, which unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous creatures on a small town.
5.8Hot Summer(de)
In this East German teen musical, a group of girls are planning to take their summer vacation together on the Baltic coast. When a loud and obnoxious group of boys intrudes on their holiday, the girls are horrified to learn that the boys have the same vacations plans as them. The two groups quarrel with each other and compete over a number of things, but gradually an attraction starts to form.
7.0While You Were Sleeping(en)
A transit worker pulls commuter Peter off railway tracks after he's mugged, but—while he's in a coma—his family mistakenly thinks she's Peter's fiancée, and she doesn't correct them. Things get more complicated when she falls for his brother, who's not quite sure that she's who she claims to be.
4.9Home Sweet Home Alone(en)
After being left at home by himself for the holidays, 10-year-old Max Mercer must work to defend his home from a married couple who tries to steal back a valuable heirloom.
0.0Chris Elliott's FDR -- A One-Man Show(en)
Chris Elliot plays FDR in his live "One Man Show" about the life and times of the president, however, he looks and sounds nothing like the man and he re-enacts events from Roosevelt's life that never happened.
4.7Harry Grows Up(es)
New York is a tough place to find love. Especially for an 18-month-old living on his own.
4.6The Cookout(en)
When Todd Anderson signs a $30 million deal with his hometown team, the New Jersey Nets, he knows that his life is set for a big change. To keep things real, he decides to throw a barbeque at his place -- just like the ones his family used to have. But when you have new and old friends, family, agents, and product reps in the same house, things are bound to get crazy.
6.2Christmas in Toyland(en)
When Charlie Sawyer, a data analyst at a toy store chain, discovers the only way to keep their brick and mortar locations open is to replicate whatever the company’s best performing location is doing, she's sent by corporate to meet convivial, yet stubborn, store manager, Grant Levinson, whose secret to success will challenge her to open up her mind… and her heart.
6.0It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown(en)
As the holiday season rolls around and all the Peanuts gang are getting ready for it. Whether it be Charlie Brown struggling to raise money for his girlfriend or Sally and Peppermint Patty struggling to rehearse and memorize their one word lines for the Christmas pageant, these kids try to keep with the Christmas spirit while Snoopy has his mischief to do.
5.4Mixed Nuts(en)
The events of a crisis hotline business on one crazy night during the Christmas holidays.
5.7Trapped in Paradise(en)
Residents of a friendly Pennsylvania town foil three brothers' plan to rob a bank on Christmas Eve.
7.7Totally Bill Hicks(en)
Consisting of two parts: ‘Revelations’, Bill Hicks’ last live performance in the United Kingdom made at the Dominion Theatre; and a documentary about Hicks’ life ‘Just a Ride’ featuring interviews with friends, admirers, and family.
6.4Dancing Through the Snow(en)
Ballet teacher Olivia gets more than she bargained for when she casts the talented Lily as the lead in the Christmas recital of The Nutcracker, and finds herself falling for Lily’s handsome firefighter father Michael. When a video of Michael practicing ballet with his daughter goes viral, Olivia sees how much dance really means to the community.
6.9Maiden's Cheek(el)
Young teacher Floras arrives to teach a class at a girls’ high school in Athens. His students, daughters of rich Athenian families, are very spoilt making his and the other teachers work difficult. When he starts implementing discipline in his class, the girls use every means to get rid of him. But the most undisciplined, Lisa Papastavrou, falls in love with him.
5.5Classic Movie Bloopers: Uncensored(en)
Uncensored. Laugh along with Hollywood's brightest stars in this hilarious compilation of bloopers from some of the biggest movies in history . You'll see stars such as Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Lucille Ball, Bob Hope, Ronald Reagan, Marlene Dietrich, Boris Karloff, Edward G. Robinson, Errol Flynn and more. They're not so perfect after all when these flubbed moments are caught on film!
6.2Snowroller(sv)
Stig-Helmer takes another vacation with his norwegian friend Ole. This time it's time for a skiing vacation in the Alps. Of course, Stig-Helmer has never learnt downhill skiing, but he attends a ski school. And together they manage to charm two women also on vacation.
6.3Carry On Abroad(en)
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
6.1Carry On Again Doctor(en)
Dr. Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.







